


A Deeper Love

by TheArtificialDane



Series: The Brightest Timeline [21]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M, The Brightest Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-01-15 16:27:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21256292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtificialDane/pseuds/TheArtificialDane
Summary: A DXP adventure; where our boys enjoy each others company and make many many mistakes.Told from a Brightest Timeline perspective!





	1. Chapter 1

_ “Where you flying from?” _

Brooke and Vanjie were talking on the phone, Brooke standing in his kitchen, his phone wedged in between his shoulder and ear.

“Nashville.” Brooke was chopping veggies, his kitchen smelling deliciously like italian. “Why?”

_ “Bitch,” _ Vanjie groaned, Brooke surprised at the sound.  _ “I don’t wanna go to Nashville.” _

Brooke paused for a moment, readjusting his phone. “No one asked you to-” Brooke could feel that a potential argument was underway, and fighting over the phone had never worked out well for them. “Hold on a second.”

Brooke grabbed his phone, putting it down on the counter, leaning it against his salt shaker, as he clicked the Facetime icon.

_ “Hey stud.” _

Vanjie appeared on his screen, a smirk playing on his lips, and Brooke couldn’t help but smile. Vanjie was laying on the couch in his apartment, Riley probably somewhere near. He was wearing a grey tank top, a black cap on his head. Brooke had seen that Silky and Vanjie had gone to the gym, the two friends utterly ridiculous as always.

“Hey.” Brooke watched Vanjie, his boyfriend wiggling his brows.

_ “You gonna fold those sleeves up or what?” _

“What?” Brooke looked down, only to see that Vanjie was very pointedly looking at his arms, and Brooke laughed. Vanjie loved watching him work, the other man fascinated with the muscles in his arms to the point that it was almost a fetish. 

“Sure big guy.” Brooke pulled his sleeves up, grabbing the knife again to continue his chopping. Brooke had friends coming over, which was why he was cooking in the first place, his knife gliding through the tomatoes he was chopping up.

“Why would you go to Nashville?”

_ “I wanna fly with you.” _

Brooke raised an eyebrow, Vanjie’s words sounding absolutely insane. “You’re going to fly to Nashville to fly to London?” 

They were bound for the DXP tour, Steve particularly proud of himself as he had managed to book them for the same gig, Brooke both excited and worried over their first tour outside of Drag Race.

_ “I’d miss you if I didn’t.” _ Vanjie smiled, a sweet expression on his face. “ _ Sides, when else am I gonna get that much interrupted time with your ass?”  _ Vanjie ran a hand over his chest, Brooke watching with half an eye as he dumped the tomatoes into the pot. 

“I guess you have a point…” Brooke took an onion, quickly peeling it. “It’s sweet of you Papi.”

Vanjie preened, and Brooke smiled, Vanjie so like a cat in the way he reacted to attention.  _ “You know…” _ Vanjie bit his lip.  _ “I wouldn’t have to haul all my shit to Tennessee-” _

“Mmh…” Brooke had an idea where Vanjie was going, and he already knew that he didn’t want to hear it. Brooke put the onion down, chopping it in half, quickly and effectively.

_ “- If you moved to L.A.” _

“I don’t want to talk about this.” Brooke knew he was being unfair, knew he was being harsh, but whenever Vanjie talked about them moving, Brooke felt like throwing up.

_ “I’m just saying,” _ Vanjie shrugged, clearly trying to play it off as a casual suggestion, and not an argument they had already had several times.  _ “There ain’t no reason you should be staying in Nashville-“ _

“Papi.” Brooke cut Vanjie off. “I said no.”

_ “Fine.” _ Vanjie looked at him for a while, actually respecting Brooke’s words as Brooke focused on chopping up the onion. Vanjie was right. Brooke didn’t have a good reason not to move to L.A, but whenever they talked about it, whenever it came up, whenever Vanjie laughed at even the notion that he could be the one to move, Brooke felt sick.

_ “So, you gonna drop the shirt too or what?” _

Brooke looked up from his board, just to see that Vanjie had apparently taken his off while Brooke wasn’t looking.

_ “I’m cooking big guy.” _ Brooke smiled, pointing the knife at the screen.  _ “I have guests coming in 35.” _

_ “And you could have me coming in 5.”  _ Vanjie smirked, his eyes glinting, and Brooke realised that watching him had apparently been a lot more sexy than he had anticipated. 

_ “I’m already cooking.” _

Brooke saw that Vanjie’s arm was moving, his shoulder rolling in the ever familiar rhythm of when Vanjie jerked off.

“You’re ridiculous.”

_ “Show me something sweet?” _ Vanjie smiled.  _ “Please?” _

Brooke smiled, putting down the knife and turning off the stove, pulling his shirt over his head, Vanjie yelling in delight as Brooke picked him up, walking off to the bedroom.

///

Vanjie loved Brooke’s bathroom in Nashville. It was his favorite part about the apartment, big and spacious, kept practically minimalistic since Brooke as a boy barely used products, the entire space so unlike the cramped L.A apartments he was used to. 

Vanjie sighed as he turned under the spray, hot water beating down on him. He was wonderfully relaxed, the sleep he had gotten in Brooke’s arms so deep he had basically been in a coma, his entire body pleasantly sore, Vanjie’s ass and thighs singing with the perfect sting of a night of reunion sex.

How happy they always were to see each other, was the only thing Vanjie liked about them living apart, jumping into Brooke’s arms whenever they reunited absolutely wonderful each and every time, but as time passed by, the sting of leaving only growing and growing, until Vanjie felt like he was choking on the bitter disappointment and sadness of separating from the man that he loved so very much.

Vanjie heard the door open, a small smile playing on his lips as he could hear Brooke go directly for the toilet, a quiet clunk of the toilet seat getting pushed up, followed by the sound of pissing making him giggle.

“Hey.”

Vanjie looked over his shoulder, Brooke standing behind him, toothbrush in mouth.

“Hey.”

Vanjie smirked, feeling wonderfully coquettish as he covered his chest with his hand, Brooke boxing him in underneath the spray, his boyfriend completely invading his space.

Vanjie turned around, Brooke’s strong chest, flat stomach and perfect legs on full display. Vanjie ran a hand over Brooke’s stomach, giggling a little to himself as he practically met washboard abs under his hand. Brooke had never said anything, but Vanjie had noticed a distinct and instant change in his boyfriends workout routine after he had shared the picture from their fuckcation in Chicago. Vanjie liked the picture, loved how soft Brooke was in it, Vanjie remembering each and every treat they had shared, every pizza they had eaten in bed, every drink they had finished on a night out to chub Brooke up, relationship weight sneaking up on his boyfriend like a tiger, since he had never tried it before.

“Hey.” Vanjie got up on his toes, gently kissing the side of Brooke’s mouth, a bit of spearmint toothpaste playing against his tongue.

“You-” Brooke opened his mouth, nearly choking on the foam. He quickly closed it, swallowing and taking the toothbrush out before he tried again. “You already said that.”

“I know.”

Vanjie smirked, putting his arms around Brooke, his wet dick pressing against Brooke’s stomach.

Brooke looked down, Vanjie’s cock growing harder by the second. “Really?” Brooke’s tone was teasing, but Vanjie simply felt hot and happy, being with Brooke something he craved every second they weren’t together. “Again?”

“You too sexy.” Vanjie whined, playing the role of a brat to perfection. “My big mountain man.”

Brooke laughed, putting his toothbrush in the showercaddy, his hand grabbing Vanjie’s thigh, pushing him against the wall, Vanjie gasping as his back met the damp and chilly stone.

“You’re insatiable.”

“The fuc- ah-” Brooke kissed Vanjie’s neck, the skin there tender and raw from Brooke’s stubble, his boyfriend growing it out since he had the chance, while Vanjie was still silky smoothe all over. “The fuck does that mean.”

“It means.” Brooke reached up, grabbing Vanjie’s hair with his leg hand, the wet locks tucked and Vanjie moaned. “That you’re my good little whore.”

“Shit.” Vanjie closed his eyes, spreading his legs, his foot hooking around Brooke’s lower back. “Say that again.” Vanjie reached around Brooke’s neck, holding him.

“Mmmh.” Brooke’s hand traveled from Vanjie’s thigh to his ass, grabbing a handful, squeezing the flesh, making Vanjie groan as he was lifted up, Brooke holding him like he weighed nothing. “No.”

Vanjie cried out, Brooke’s denial as sweet as his approval. Vanjie dug his foot in, pulling Brooke even closer, his boyfriends hard dick sliding between his cheeks, the water still running over them, Vanjie quickly removing Brooke’s blonde locks from his eyes.

“Please Mami.” Vanjie moaned, Brooke’s cock bumping against his rim. “Please.”

“My sweet boy.” Brooke pushed in, Vanjie’s body relaxed and ready, the sting only making it all that much better, the edge of pain swirling with the pleasure that was threatening to overtake him. Brooke bottomed out, the other man groaning against Vanjie’s neck, Brooke trying and failing to keep his hips still, small, desperate tremors wrecking his body as he tried not to take too much too fast, Brooke doing everything he could to give Vanjie time to adjust, but he didn’t know that Vanjie was more than ready, his body always there for Brooke.

“Fuck me.” Vanjie groaned, his lips right next to Brooke’s ears. “Fuck me stud.”

Brooke moaned, a broken, perfect sounds, his hips picking up speed, Brooke fucking Vanjie hard and fast, every slap of skin against skin only drowned in their groans and whispers, Vanjie moaning each time a rough thrust wrecked his entire body.

It was perfect, and Vanjie could already feel his orgasm building from the bottom of his spine, his skin crackling with heat.

“Shit.” Vanjie whined. “You too good, so fucking good, you fucking me right, always fucking me right, please Mami, please, please, please, I- fuck!”

Vanjie came, his arms and legs tightening around Brooke, Vanjie clinging to him as his orgasm was torn from his, his body vibrating with oversensitivity, Brooke thrusting into the hardness, an animalistic groan falling from his lips as he came too, filling Vanjie up one last time before they had to leave, Brooke kissing Vanjie, even as the water started to turn cold.

/// 

“Wow…” 

Brooke smiled as Vanjie looked around, his jaw practically dropped as they walked into First Class. Brooke was equally happy about it, the message that both he and his travel companion had been upgraded to first class on his miles ticking in as they waited in the airport.

Brooke didn’t want to admit it, but he had been close to crying, the idea that he had come so far in his career that first class was actually something that could happen to him a dream come true from his time in Ballet Trockadero where they always traveled the absolute cheapest way possible.

“This is our seats.”

Brooke pointed, and Vanjie sat down, his boyfriends eyes still big, and Brooke’s heart swelled a little. Vanjie had talked Brooke into dressing up, or at least doing his version of it, the sneaks he was wearing a new pair, his outfit of a black t-shirt and sweats also relatively new, and Brooke was so happy that Vanjie had made him do it as suit after suit walked into first class.

“Shit.” Vanjie kicked off his shoes, Brooke laughing a little. They had enjoyed the lounge, both of them pleasantly tipsy, Vanjie ordering several rounds of alcohol for them simply because it was free, his boyfriend going live as they waited for the plane, a fan or two even coming over to ask for pictures.

Brooke wasn’t yet used to how invested people was in his private life, didn’t really know what to do when strangers came up with the expectation that he knew them, that he owned them a connection, and while he was catching up on it, it was wonderful to have Vanjie to lean against, his boyfriend navigating the impromptu meet and greets with an ease that Brooke could only hope to replicate.

Brooke took his phone out of his pocket, only really meaning to dump it so he could get comfortable, but he could see that he had been retweeted to the moon and back, the post he had put up about how grateful he was for the experience going relatively viral for his page.

Vanjie had already exploded, his boyfriend taking up space in the world with an ease that Brooke almost envied, Vanjie taking his in-flight kit apart with a childlike joy that Brooke couldn’t help but chuckle at. He had meant to take a xanax, wanted to drown in the seat, but since they had had cocktails in the lounge, that wasn’t an option. Instead, Brooke fished his book out of his backpack, his trip to New York two weeks ago meaning that he was filled to the brim with new recommendations, his former ballet colleague Andrew lending him a book called “Gone.”

“The fuck is that?”

Vanjie looked over at Brooke, his eyes zeroed in on the book in his hand.

“A book?” Brooke smiled, showing him the cover. “It’s about Min Kym, you know, the violinist? She had her Stradivarius stolen in 2010-”

“Bless you.”

“What?” Brooke watched Vanjie, his boyfriend looking completely serious, and that was when Brooke realised that he had said the name of the violin out loud, Vanjie apparently poking fun of him. “It’s actually a really interesting case-”

“So you ain’t gonna watch movies with me?”

Brooke paused for a minute, the cover still turned towards Vanjie. “Do we have to watch movies?”

Vanjie crossed his arms, a deep furrow appearing between his brows. “You saying you gonna read?”

“I’m still gonna be right here, literally next to you. Is that not enough?” Brooke groaned, not even sure why they were bickering, the flight barely in the air yet. “Do you need a tracking device up my ass to be happy?”

Brooke realised the moment he said it that he had made a mistake. They had broken up in oktober, or he had, Vanjie not even realising that Brooke had ended it until he had stood outside his door in Nashville, Brooke’s utter confusion making it dawn on Vanjie that Brooke had intended to end it. They had fought about freedom, or rather the perception of it, Brooke feeling like he was drowning in endless expectations he couldn’t keep, a sour jealousy playing under everything at how Vanjie was traveling the world, and he wasn’t doing shit.

They had worked it out, but the wound was still there, still needing attention and mending, still needing love and consideration.

Vanjie pulled back, a hurt expression blooming on his face, Vanjie shrinking right in front of Brooke’s eyes.

“Shit.” Brooke bit his lip. “I didn’t mean-” He groaned, quickly rubbing his face. “Sorry.”

“You better fucking be.” Vanjie huffed, his shoulders around his ears.

“You can put a tracking device up my ass if you want?”

Vanjie snorted, and Brooke smiled as his words had had the exact effect he desired, the hurt on his boyfriends face melting away.

“We both know there ain’t no way you’re letting me stick shit up your ass cowboy.”

Brooke chuckled, Vanjie absolutely right. He placed his hand on the armrest, palm up, offering Vanjie a place in his space, and he felt a breath of relief as Vanjie accepted it, their fingers intertwining. 

“Do you still want to watch a movie?” Brooke looked at Vanjie, his thumb gliding over the back of Vanjie’s hand, not saying the wrong thing so much easier for Brooke if they were touching.

“Yes.” Vanjie smiled, “and I’mma even let you pick.”

Brooke laughed, surprised at the offer. “You hate it when I pick the movie. You always call it boring.”

“That’s only ‘cause you always pick some foreing film bullshit. Ain’t never been nothing wrong with no romance movie-”

Brooke made a gagging sound, which made Vanjie hit him, Brooke rolling his eyes, a smile still playing on his lips.

“Bitch-” Vanjie smiled too. “Just pick the damned movie.”

“I will.” Brooke leaned in, gently kissing Vanjie. “In a minute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to ThankyoumissVanjie for the titel, and for betaing!


	2. Chapter 2

“Morning.”

Vanjie hummed as Brooke pulled him close. They had arrived late last night, the two of them checking into the airport hotel, Vanjie falling asleep almost instantly.

“You snore when you sleep.”

Brooke chuckled, his breath warm against Vanjie’s head. Brooke leaned down, gently kissing Vanjie’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

“You ain’t sorry for shit.”

“I’m not.”

Vanjie hummed, Brooke’s unapologetic nature fun to be around, even as he had been laying next to a moose in rut. They had dated for almost a year, but since they had been kept apart by their contracts, it still felt new and exciting to spend longer periods of time with Brooke by his side.

It was wonderful to lay with Brooke, the other man’s thumb gliding over his stomach, gently caressing, up and down.

Vanjie heard his phone ding, a small smile leaving him as he cracked an eye open and saw that Brooke had plugged it in for him, before he had gone to bed the night before. Vanjie reached out, Brooke grumbling as he was pulled away. 

Vanjie opened his messages, a text from Jason front and center. 

“Jason's texting if we wanna go see London.” 

Jason had flown in from L.A, the DXP tour the first time Kings and Queens and Club Kid worked together, so Jason wanted to make sure everything went off without a hitch.

“Mmmh.” Brooke didn’t really answer, instead simply putting the duvet back over Vanjie, pulling him in to snuggle once again, his boyfriend so very tactile, Brooke seeking physical contact like a moth to a flame.

Vanjie scrolled through his phone, Brooke’s arms around him, Vanjie reposting a photo some fans had taken of them at the airport. He quickly added a caption ‘UK here we go, tracking device locked and loaded’

Brooke was in flip flops, grey sweats, a hoodie and a cap, the outfit perfectly fit for an international flight, but it wasn’t exactly fashion forward, while Vanjie was in sneakers, black workout pants, a t-shirt, cap and a hoodie tied around his waist.

“I asked you a question.” Vanjie bumped Brooke slightly, looking over his shoulder. “We wanna go to London or what?”

“Do we?”

“What else we gonna do today?” Vanjie chuckled a little, the fact that he was the one that was actually awake a true testament to how badly Brooke apparently handled jetlag. It had been the same when they had flown down for the cruise, Brooke totally out of commission for the first day.

“Stay in and have sex?” Brooke yawned, pulling Vanjie even closer, throwing his leg over him, chest and back touching each other.

“That how you treat your boyfriend?” Vanjie snorted. “You better step up that romance game, or I’mma call the police.”

“I can treat you right.” Brooke kissed his neck, and Vanjie sighed, leaning into the touch, Brooke so clearly smiling against his skin.

“You sure could prince charming.” Vanjie smirked, “but we leaving, so get that cute butt in gear.”

“Fine.” Brooke laughed, and Vanjie felt warm with the fact that he had won the argument, Brooke clearly only putting up a fight to be a brat.

///

“Can I borrow your fanny pack?” Brooke put his sunglasses into his hair, checking his outfit in the mirror one last time. Vanjie had lived up to his words after their cruise, the two of them spending an entire day with shopping in L.A, and Brooke was wearing a white t-shirt, black jeans and his new designer glasses.

“Bitch you can’t say that here.” Vanjie handed Brooke the black belt bag, his own strapped to his thigh. He was wearing a black tank top, 

“Why not?”

“It means, you know-” Vanjie gestured towards his crotch, and Brooke was actually drawn in since Vanjie seemed early shy. “Vagina.” Vanjie whispered, and Brooke laughed.

“Fanny?”

“Ho I just told you!” Vanjie hit his chest, the little fist not hurting at all, and Brooke laughed.

“Sorry, I’ll keep my fanny to myself.” Brooke smiled, pulling the bag over his head.

“You better.”

///

_ Brooke is filming on a train, a yellow seat behind him. _

_ “The cock destroyer is on the train!” Vanjie’s voice sounds from outside the frame. _

_ Brooke covers his mouth, his eyes lighting up as he laughs. Brooke moves his camera, and he’s now filming both of them. _

_ “Look.” Brooke smiles. “I saw some of the comments on our trip here, and yes, you can all calm down. We’re here together,” _

_ Vanjie nods.  _

_ “I’m not on some pre-tour trip, I’m not cheating on him.” Brooke rolls his eyes. “So you can all shut the fuck up.” _

_ “Y’all should mind your own fucking business.” Vanjie smiles, kissing the edge of Brooke’s mouth. “He my man, and I got the tracking device locked and loaded.”  _

_ “We’re in London, on the tube.” Brooke says, with a very bad british accent, a smile on his face. “I’m talking quietly-” _

_ Vanjie grabs Brooke’s wrist, turning the camera towards his face. “We don’t want them to hear us mocking them.” _

_ Brooke laughs. “Bye.” He waves to the camera. _

///

“How long is the trip?” Brooke looked over to Jason, his hand resting on Vanjie’s leg. They were taking a long distance train, the airport further out than Brooke remembered.

“Just another 45.” Jason smiled, and Brooke nodded. He liked being around Jason, the manager someone who had housed him more times than not when he had visited L.A, Brooke always grateful any time he didn’t have to stay at a hotel.

Brooke tapped his phone against his leg, a small part of him still annoyed at all the comments he had seen when he had actually taken the time to check his social media. 

He knew that he had said at the reunion that he valued his freedom, the scar in his palm a painful reminder of how unobservant he could be, but some of Vanjie’s more rabid fans had gotten it into their heads that Brooke was just using Vanjie, that Vanjie was some kind of claim to fame for him, and it was bugging Brooke a whole lot more than he was comfortable with.

“Uh!” The train stopped, and Brooke watched Vanjie look around, the man in the seat directly behind them finally leaving. “Yes bitch.”

Brooke chuckled, Vanjie pulling his phone out.

“My turn.” 

///

_ “Look who I found.” Vanjie smiles. He’s filming on the train, the light from the window causing the picture to be very white. Vanjie leans back, so he’s resting against Brooke, Brooke putting an arm around Vanjie, his hand resting on his stomach underneath his top. _

_ “Silky is, why y’all asking me what Silky is doing.” Vanjie smiles. “Just cause we neighbors don’t mean I know everything she be doing, but I’m sure she cooking in the kitchen.” Vanjie waits for a beat. “Brock?” _

_ “Mmmh.” Brooke is on his own phone, not fully looking at Vanjie. _

_ “We should take a cooking class with Silky.” _

_ “That would be fun.” _

_ “She could teach me how to cook-” _

_ “Oh bitch.” Vanjie smirks. “Like you need any help. I told y’all already right, but Brock a fine ass chef.” _

_ “I’m decent.” _

_ “Whenever I visit in Nashville, he always cooks everything.”  _

_ Brooke chuckles, and Vanjie goes back to looking at his phone. _

_ “We are on the train, on the way to Hogwarts-” _

_ Brooke snorts. _

_ “I think I’ma gonna be-” Vanjie smiles. “Brock is probably gonna be, if you were in a Hogwarts house, which one would you wanna be?” _

_ “Me?” Brooke looks over. “I’m Slyhterin, 100%.” _

_ “At least he recognising it.” Vanjie chuckles. “You know how it goes, those cunning folk use any means, to achieve their ends. That a winner baby.” _

_ “... Are you quoting the books?” _

_ “A bitch can have more than one interest.” Vanjie looks up at Brooke. “What house would I be?” _

_ “Probably Slytherin too. You’re no Hufflepuff,” Vanjie smiles, clearly entertained as Brooke is speaking into the camera. “and you’re no Ravenclaw.” _

_ “What the fuck- Wait a minute. I thought I was Hufflepuff-” _

_ “Girl.” Brooke smiles, kissing Vanjie’s cap. “You’re not a fucking Hufflepuff.” _

_ “I’m not.” Vanjie laughs. “But a ho can be loyal.” _

_ “You’re very very loyal.”  _

_ Vanjie nods. “See. He raised good.” _

_ “Top or bottom? I’m sure I’ve answered that 4.000 bazillion times.” _

_ In the background, Brooke is mouthing ‘power bottom’. _

_ “Bitch!” Vanjie hits him, Brooke laughing as the sound of a palm hitting a thigh is picked up by the camera. _

_ “Don’t go sharing my business!” _

_ “Wait,” Brooke leans in. “Sit still.” Brooke moves his phone, turning the light on to shine it at Vanjie’s tattoo. _

_ “Don’t do that on camera.” Vanjie pushes at Brooke’s hand. _

_ “You just have- I can see the blackhead.” Brooke’s fingers is stretching the skin on Vanjie’s chest. _

_ “Ho I said no, the fuck-” Vanjie pushes at Brooke’s hand again. “You always do this.” Vanjie laughs, his annoyance mixed with care. “I swear you was a monkey in a former life.” _

_ “Plastique lets me do it.” Brooke smiles. _

_ “Plastique ain’t near you all the damned time.” Vanjie rolls his eyes.  _

_ “I did it on the show, and it was so satisfying.” _

_ “See what I do for my man.” Vanjie smiles. “Without me, there’d be no meditation.” _

_ “Just let me-” Brooke twists Vanjie slightly, but Vanjie pushes him away again. _

_ “You’ve tried to pop it seven million times. It’s not no black head, it’s a detail on my tattoo.” _

_ “Uh.” Brooke actually pulls away, his arm resting on Vanjie’s shoulder. “Nina and I have been talking about getting tattoos.” _

_ “With Nina?” _

_ “Yes.” Brooke nods. “Little elevens, for season 11.” _

_ “Oh that’s cute!” Vanjie gives the camera side eye, a stiff smile on his face. _

_ “Are you being sarcastic?” _

_ “Y’all can do it.” Vanjie smirks, “but I ain’t getting that for shit, sides, how would I even do that, I was on two seasons, and technically, 10 was the shebangs for me. 11 wasn’t-” _

_ “Yearh.” Brooke smiles. “11 wasn’t great for you.” _

_ Vanjie’s eyebrows shoot up, his eyes widening. Brooke sees Vanjie’s face, and he laughs, leaning into Vanjie’s side, kissing his shoulder. _

_ “This motherfucker- Y’all hear this shit?” _

_ “Sorry baby.” Brooke smiles, and he kisses him. “At least you’re dating a winner.” _

_ /// _

“Uh!” Brooke felt Vanjie grab his hand, his boyfriend fully pulling him back.

“What?” 

“There!” Vanjie pointed. They were on the streets of SoHo, the early afternoon passing by as they had gone shopping, SoHo filled with all kinds of boutiques.

“The boba shop?”

“Yes!” Vanjie smiled brightly, pulling him along, and Brooke couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Vanjie that excited about anything related to food.

///

_ “We’re lost-” Vanjie is filming on the streets of London. “If anyone finds this video, just know. Tell my loved ones I loved them, tell Riley he ain’t got nowhere else to go-” Vanjie laughs. _

_ “Oh yes, Riley’s fucked.” Brooke laughs, the man walking outside of the camera. _

_ “He gotta have to go across the street to Silky’s.” Vanjie takes a sip of his drink. _

_ “He’s going to have to fight Silky for food.” _

_ Vanjie laughs. “Yeah right.” Vanjie walks to Brooke’s side, linking their arms together. “We looking for a place Brock wants to go for dinner.” _

_ “I read online they have the best korean barbeque in London.” _

_ “The shit you do for love.” Vanjie wrinkles his nose. He’s clearly not excited for the barbeque. “At least I got my boba.” Vanjie pulls away. _

_ “I got my boba-” Brooke sings, and Vanjie smiles, clearly hiding a cringe. “I got my man, I got my manager-” _

_ “I got my boba.” Vanjie flips the camera, and films Brooke’s ass. “I got my man, and I got my manager.” Vanjie flips the camera back to his face. “Life is good, even though we still fucking lost.” _

///

“Holy shit that burns!” Vanjie fanned his mouth, his face hot, and Brooke felt bad for a minute. 

“Here.” Brooke handed him a glass of water, Vanjie quickly drowning half of it. When he and Jason had agreed on korean barbecue for dinner, Brooke had simply thought that Vanjie could have side dishes, but what he hadn’t considered, was that most of them were incredibly spicy.

“Fuck, how the heck they eating this in Korea?” Vanjie pushed his oi muchim aside, the spicy cucumber salad clearly not hitting the spot. 

“They weren’t born with the taste buds of a baby.” Jason smiled, a beer in hand, and Vanjie kicked him under the table. 

“Just cause I like me some traditional food-”

“Try this one.” Brooke pushed his own plate of seasoned spinach towards Vanjie, that and the sesame broccoli the only dishes he had finished, and Brooke tried to push his annoyance down. 

He had noticed, of course he had, many of their conversations on Drag Race revolving around food, but he had never really noticed how much of a hinderens it was, catering taking care of it during the season 11 tour, as well as the cruise, but Vanjie was extremely picky, and it was slowly getting on his nerves.


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you sure you guys wanna go out?” Jason looked over his shoulder, the man standing right next to a running Uber.

“We Drag Queens.” Vanjie shrugged. 

They had finished eating, his mouth still burning slightly, but that was okay. Jason was tired, jet lag getting to him, but Vanjie felt full of the giddy energy he always seemed to be soaked in when Brooke was around. 

“The day has only just begun!” Vanjie threw his arms out, gesturing around, the sun officially down half an hour ago.

“If you’re sure?” Jason gave him another look, and Vanjie wanted to bristle against the babying his manager insisted on. 

If Brooke hadn’t been there, Vanjie would have entered the fight Jason was toeing the line of, but he kept his cool, or he attempted to at least.. 

It was true that he had partied a lot in the past year, true that he had made some not amazing decisions - more often than not running himself to the bone in a way that had forced Jason to come pick him up in the middle of the night, but it was different now, the reason Vanjie had raged so much the sea of emotions inside him that was caused by the separation from Brooke and the front he had to put up, in what felt like an endless press circuit because of season 10.

“We’ll be fine.” Brooke gave Jason a hug, opening the car door for the other man. “It’s going to be nice to have a night out.” Brooke smiled, and Vanjie felt warm.

“If you’re absolutely sure.”

“You’re worse than Steve.” Brooke chuckled, and Jason finally left, the two of them waving goodbye to him as they stood side by side, Brooke’s hand in his back pocket.

“You ready to dance big guy?” Brooke looked down, and Vanjie nodded, his chest feeling like a little sun was bursting through the clouds.

“I was born ready.”

///

Vanjie was covered in sweat, his body warm, his limbs sore but he was so happy he could scream, he and Brooke dancing together on the club floor, the fact that they could kiss and grind, could do stupid routines and push each other around an absolute gift.

It was hot as sin, and Vanjie had been packing a chubby since the moment they got on the floor.

“Are you thirsty?”

“For you!”

Brooke snorted, and Vanjie laughed, his tall man pulling him against his side as they made their way to the bar.

They had never gone out together alone before, too scared to be recognised on their home turf of America, too worried to visit a club that wasn’t for gays in both Nashville and L.A. 

Brooke was an amazing dancer, his moves precise and filled with grace in a way that Vanjie could never hope to replicate, the technique he presented learned through thousands of hours of hard work, iron will and bleeding toes. 

Vanjie would have felt self conscious, would have worried if Brooke looked down on him if it wasn’t for the fact that Brooke freely and openly copied his moves, that he played around and failed in copying the freedom Vanjie had on the dancefloor, and he was glowing with pride at the fact.

“What can I do for you?”

“What you got?” Brooke smiled, leaning over the bar, the bartender coming over the moment Brooke had signaled, attracted like a moth to a flame. The bartender was a muscular man, his forearms bulging, and Vanjie immediately did not like him.

“Oh!” The bartender smiled, a glint in his eyes. “Are you american?” He looked Brooke up and down, and Vanjie felt his happy glow turning sour.

“Close.” Brooke smirked, the easy banter clearly fun for him. “Canadian.”

“Love the accent.”

“Thank you very much.” Brooke chuckled, standing up again, the bartender clearly watching Brooke rise to his full height.

Vanjie hated that part of Brooke. Hated how he seemed to make “friends” wherever he went, how he didn’t even look his way as he dared to flirt.

“I’ll mix you something really british.” The bartender winked, and went off, Vanjie considering how much trouble he’d get in if he threw the bowl of peanuts at his head when he felt an arm sneak around his waist.

“What do you want baby?” Brooke pulled him close against his side, his lips touching Vanjie’s hair, and he was pretty sure he could feel Brooke breath in.

“Let’s share.” Vanjie didn’t want to get drunk, and he really really really did not want Brooke to have another reason to talk to the bartender, who was making his way over.

“Here.” The stranger smiled, putting a cup of brown liquid down on the bar.

Brooke released Vanjie, reaching into his own back pocket. “How much-”

“Don’t you worry about that love.” The bartender smiled, and Brooke stopped moving. “It’s on the house.” 

“Thank yo-”

“Stick around.” The bartender gave Brooke the cup, their hands touching. “I could use something nice to look at tonight.”

Vanjie bit his tongue, the only reason he didn’t flip out the scar in Brooke’s palm.

///

_ “Hey everyone.” Brooke is in a white t-shirt, standing on a curb, a plastic glass in his hand, sunglasses on his head. Brooke moves around a little, clearly chasing the best light, his eyes focused on himself in the lense. Suddenly, he lights up, his eyes growing wider. He turns to Vanjie. _

_ “Are you watching my stream?” Vanjie comes into view, his phone in hand, and Brooke is on the screen. _

_ “Bish, you know I gotta keep an eye on you.” Vanjie waves his phone, a sparkle in his eyes as he goes underneath Brooke’s arm. _

_ “I’m literally right here.” _

_ “Don’t mean I can’t watch.” _

_ Brooke rolls his eyes, but he holds Vanjie to his side.  _

_ “We’re outside of GAY.” _

_ “Boo needed a smoke.” _

_ Brooke chuckles, and takes a drink from the plastic cup in his hand. “Oh!” _

_ “Nina!” Vanjie smiles, jumping on his toes so he can see the screen in Brooke’s hand, his own phone forgotten. _

_ “Nina we wish you were here!” Brooke waves at the screen, and Vanjie takes his phone, the perspective shifting to Brooke’s shirt clad chest in the background. _

_ “Nina we are here, and we’re ready for you honey!” Vanjie laughs, clearly excited. “You needa answer my text.” _

_ “You’re texting Nina?” Brooke leans down, his head resting on Vanjie’s shoulder. _

_ “Asked her what her favorite Disney movies are.” _

_ Brooke chuckles at what Vanjie is saying, and hides his face in Vanjie’s shoulder. _

_ “Nina!” Vanjie points at the screen. “You need to have that top five ready!” _

_ “Right!” Brooke looks up and at the screen. “Jose has apparently never watched a Disney movie.” _

_ “Like you watched them either bitch.” Vanjie takes a sip of the drink he has stolen from Brooke, a smirk on his lips.  _

_ “I really haven’t.” Brooke plays with the strap of Vanjie’s top. “And I’m not going to either, no matter how much you want to watch them on tour.” _

_ “Whore.” _

_ Brooke laughs. _

_ “Nina!” Vanjie yells.” Get on over here! If you on the plane, we want one of those-” Vanjie stops, and he’s clearly looking for his words. He twists a little, and Brooke detaches from his back. “What you call those where you show stuff?” _

_ “A haul?” Brooke takes his glass, while Vanjie still holds the phone. _

_ “I need a haul!” Vanjie smiles. “Of what’s going on in that plane bitch, you better show me all the utiliries-” _

_ “Utiliries?” The disbelief and surprise is clear in Brooke’s voice. _

_ “The utiliries.” Vanjie says it with total conviction. _

_ “Do you mean utilities?” Brooke smiles, and Vanjie hits him. _

_ “Thank god for the drinks.” Vanjie giggles and drinks from the cup, while Brooke kisses his hair. _

_ “I’m here for the drink. A bartender made it for us-” Brooke is cut off, the man not seeing that Vanjie’s face crumbles. “Hi there.” Brooke waves, and Vanjie films as he hugs two strangers, who are very clearly fans. _

_ “That’s your reigning y’all.” Vanjie films, his lip between his teeth. “Can’t stop, won’t stop.” _

///

“Mmh-”

Brooke smiled, Vanjie’s little sigh of pure pleasure absolute delicious. They had gone back to the club and danced, Brooke loving how small Vanjie felt under his hands, loved how Vanjie acted like sex on legs when he danced, loved to see how free and fierce and ferious his boyfriend was.

Brooke pulled back slightly, Vanjie’s eyes closed, his head leaning against the back of the seat in their Uber. He was absolutely gorgeous, a satisfied little smirk on his lips, his long black lashes standing out as his eyes were closed, and Brooke leaned in yet again, catching Vanjie in another kiss, his fingers playing with the strap on Vanjie’s leg, the pack taunting him all night, Vanjie’s plush and delicious thighs one of Brooke’s favorite things about the other man.

“You’re gorgeous.”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

///

Vanjie woke up to the sun shining in through the hotel windows.

He rolled over on his side, his entire body happy and sore after a night of dancing. 

He and Brooke falling into bed after a makeout session that were worthy of teenagers in the Uber, Brooke holding both of them in his hand, Vanjie coming with a gasp.

Vanjie had expected to roll into Brooke, but as he opened his eyes, he realised that he was alone in bed. He laid still for a minute, listening for sounds of a shower, but he was apparently the only one in the room. Vanjie sat up, Brooke’s things still there, his clothes from the night before in a little pile on the floor, and Vanjie rolled his eyes, Brooke messy as fuck if no one kept an eye on him.

A glass of water was sitting on his night stands, his meds right next to it, and Vanjie felt a little less alone, and a lot less forgotten when he saw it.

That feeling disappeared entirely though, as he checked his phone and saw that Brooke had sent him a text.

_ Couldnt wake you - going out with Nina _

It was fair, or, Vanjie tried to tell himself that it was, Brooke and Nina old friends who loved each other dearly, but it still stung that Brooke had chosen to leave without him, even if he had apparently been impossible to wake up.

Vanjie dumped down in the bed, rolling himself to Brooke’s side, the sheets still smelling like his boyfriend, and Vanjie gathered it around himself, burrowing into it as he opened Instagram, the first thing he saw the fact that Brooke had been live.

Brooke always teased him about watching his lives when they were together, but Vanjie had no intention of telling Brooke exactly how often he watched them when they were apart. He didn’t always catch them when they went up, didn’t often make it in time to be among the people who commented, but he always watched every single one, Vanjie more often than not falling asleep with his phone on his pillow, Brooke’s voice playing in the background.

Vanjie watched as Brooke and Nina joked around, listened to their plans for the day, a sour feeling in his chest growing and growing at how much fun Brooke was having without him.


	4. Chapter 4

“There’s my winner!” Detox spread his arms out, taking up the entire door of the dressing room Brooke was sitting in, a giant smile on his friends face.

“D!” Brooke practically jumped up from his chair to run and hug Detox, lifting him off the ground and holding him close. “Fuck I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” 

Brooke put Detox down, the two men briefly kissing, their lips touching. Detox was at the very center of the circle of people Brooke loved, and greeting him like this was as natural as breathing.

They broke apart, Detox smirking as he touched his lips. “Are you sure you’re still allowed to do that?”

Detox had been furious when he had gotten word of how Vanjie had treated Brooke on their cruise. When he learned that Brooke had gotten physically hurt, he had lost his shit. 

“Huh, prince charming?”

Detox put his hand on his hip, the mischievous ever present attitude shining out of him, mixed with a hum of annoyance.

It had taken Brooke locking Detox out on a patio with him and an entire pack of shared cigarettes before he calmed down enough to no longer want to smack Vanjie.

“I’m not sure I care if I’m not.” Brooke shrugged. “This is us.” Brooke moved, so Detox could walk into the room, his friend settling down.

He did care about Vanjie’s feeling of course, he didn’t go through life intending to hurt Vanjie. They hadn’t actually talked about Brooke kissing friends yet. Nina was always sober enough to turn his face away if Vanjie was near.

“That’s the attitude of a cock destroyer.” Detox wiggled his brows, and Brooke laughed loudly. The pure excitement of getting to perform with a dear friend hummed under his skin, eclipsing all thought of his boyfriend as they settled down to dig into their makeup.

///

Brooke adjusted her gloves as she walked into the foyer, where they would be hosting the meet and greet. It was Brooke’s first overseas appearance as current reigning, and she was both excited and a little scared to meet the fans. 

She knew how to run a meet and greet. The professionalism that had been drilled into her from her pageants but specifically her year as Miss Continental. It was a pillar of her identity, but charming business acquaintances and convincing sponsors to give up their dollars was a whole lot different than juggling the expectations of the young men and women who loved the reality show she had competed on, and who where thirsty to connect with her on a personal level.

Brooke wanted to live up to expectations, but she wasn’t sure if she could. According to Courtney, her personality did not always translate amazingly. 

Brooke saw Vanjie. Her boyfriend was standing against a wall in a pair of delicious red thigh high boots, a white crop top and booty shorts, Vanjie really blossoming into the real girl style that suited her oh so very well.

“Hey big guy.” Brooke slid next to Vanjie, her floral dress a stark contrast with her boyfriend’s drag.

Brooke hadn’t expected Vanjie to be the first one there, Brooke arriving as the second. It was kinda strange, since Vanjie hadn’t been on time for a single one of their season 11 tour shows. 

“Hey.”

Vanjie didn’t look up, radiating an intensity Brooke couldn’t quite place. 

Brooke had gone out with Nina in the morning.The two of them explored SoHo and Brooke had completely forgotten to check in with Vanjie all day. 

Not that she was aware of her misstep. Yet.

“Did you have a good day?”

“Who’s asking?” Vanjie finally looked at her, a perfectly drawn brown raised.

“... I am?” Brooke didn’t understand the question, or why Vanjie seemed angry. Vanjie had been pulling at the label of her water bottle, the plastic almost off, and Brooke zoomed in on her hands.

“What the-” Brooke took Vanjie’s hand in hers, holding it up, her boyfriends nails completely different from the “little old granny” style Vanjie usually preferred.

“So you a romantic ho now?”

“What?” Brooke focused on Vanjie, who rolled her eyes and tilted her hand. Brooke realised with a smile that she was holding Vanjie’s hand like she was a maiden in a Victorian drama.

“Oh…” Brooke chuckled, touching her lips to Vanjie’s hand like a knight. “My lady.”

“Bitch-” Vanjie snorted, attempting to pull away, but Brooke held her in place. Vanjie squirmed and raised an eyebrow.

“You ain’t that cute, stop acting.” 

“You love it.” Brooke teased. 

She was just about to release Vanjie’s hand, when she realised the nails were acrylics, and not press ons.

“Huh…”

“The fuck you mean by huh?” Vanjie tugged on her hand again, prickly as a cactus. 

“Nothing.” Brooke lied through her teeth, a small part of her wondering how sex workered with nails that long. “They look great.”

Vanjie smirked, and Brooke relaxed as the last remnants of the strange expressions and mood finally melted off of her face.

“What lipstick are you wearing?” Brooke released Vanjie’s hand, pushing back a stray strand of her wig with the gentleness only a fellow queen would use.

“With your ass around?” Vanjie smiled, her eyes sparkling as Brooke hooked her fingers in her booty shorts. “Fenty, always and forever.” 

Brooke chuckled, pulling her close by her belt, their lips meeting in a kiss.

///

Vanjie took her third and final gulp of the Red Bull she had grabbed the minute she had been released from the meet and greet. 

She didn’t get drained from meeting fans in the same way as her sisters. She could match a near endless endless crowd, keep up with them in a way few could, but she was always completely trashed afterwards, a meet and greet chaotic and intense process whenever it happened. Red Bull was the natural solution for a shot of artificial energy if a show needed to happen as well.

“Everyone! Gather around please,”one of the tour assistants, his name maybe Tim, called them together.

Vanjie quickly lined up next to Monique and Morgan.The three of them and Meatball were sharing a dressing room. Brooke, Detox and Nina up to their shenanigans in the other room if Nina’s live streams where to be believed.

“Victoria will unfortunately not be able to make it for the show tonight, her flight got delayed, and there is no way she’ll be here on time.”

Vanjie bit her lip, the Dublin queen hired by Holy T to be the host of the tour.

“So what are we going to do?”

Vanjie looked over at Morgan. She was standing with her arms crossed, no nonsense, everything about her attitude so clearly the queen that managed L.A’s most successful drag bar with an iron fist. 

“We have the video but-”

“Vanjie and I could host.” 

Vanjie looked over at Monique. Her season 10 sister was one of the funniest people she knew and the two of them had a natural banter between them that flowed easily.

“Bitch, I dunno if you should let us loose with a mic, I ain't being held responsible for what we might say.”

They went left more often than not, but Vanjie had never met a Drag Race face that didn’t love crazy.

“You know it go wild real quick when we get to kiki-ing.”

“ Lord, the children need feeding with that introductory banter and child, they shall be fed. Miss Vanjie and I accept the call to preach to the congregation ”

“You do the first half, I do the second. We finish the show together! Bam, slam, alakazam.”

“Know what?” Monique smiled. “Let’s do it. Brown cow stun and Miss Vanjie. What could possibly go wrong?”

///

Brooke flew off the stage, a giant smile on her face. She loved performing Bohemian Rhapsody, the Queen song the perfect way to start a show with a shebang, few things beating the rush of performance.

She met Vanjie in the hallway, their shoulders bumping as they passed, Brooke whispering a ‘good luck baby’, before she heard the crowd roar as Vanjie popped up on stage.

///

When Vanjie had offered to host, she hadn’t actually thought it through. 

She had done both of her numbers, but she wanted another outfit for closing, wanted to show that she could do a good job, and that she could finish the bitch like a proper entertainer.

Vanjie turns the corner to her room. Nina and Meatball are both getting out of drag, Morgan wrapping up on stage. 

“Who the fuck packed up my stuff?”

Her suitcase was open, but neatly packed up, the outfits she had shed when coming off stage all folded and ready to go at the next show, her boy clothes and her makeup bags still laid out. 

“Brooke.”

“Fuck.” Vanjie doesn’t want to mess up the gesture. “My good shit is in the bottom.” 

The intention was sweet, she guesses, but she couldn’t help but be annoyed that Brooke would take the liberty of just doing that with her stuff. It felt like a pointed message that she was messy, a wagging finger telling her not to be late, and Vanjie hated it.

“Here.” Nina picks up a t-shirt. 

“You want me wearing your merch on stage Mama?” Vanjie caught what Nina threw. “Who you think I am? Adore Delano?"

Meatball laughs. “You wish.”

“Adore is fierce as fuck.” Vanjie slipped the t-shirt on. “So I only got one thing to say. Party bitches.”

///

Brooke had slipped out of his drag at the speed of light, pulling on a pair of leather shorts that he had gotten specifically for the tour with the hope that they would impress Vanjie. 

Brooke was brimming with energy, his body still carrying the wonderful energy of a performance gone well, and he couldn’t wait to get out and dance the night away, preferably with Vanjie in his arms. 

Brooke had expected Vanjie and Monique to wrap up quick, for them to want to go out and have fun, but as he walked by the stage, it seemed like they were still going strong, the audience laughing loudly at something they had said. 

Brooke made his way backstage, only wanting a peak, when he saw Jason stand there, a bottle of water clutched in his hand.

“Are you okay?” Brooke slipped in next to Jason, the manager looking up at him. He looked distressed, his brow furrowed, worry clear on his face.

“You have to get on stage.”

“The show is over?” Brooke didn’t really know what Jason was hinting at, but the manager handed him the bottle, and nodded to the stage. “You need to give him this.”

Brooke looked out on the stage, and he realised what Jason was hinting at. “Shit…”

Vanjie was drunk, Monique not far behind.

“Some fans in the first row kept handing them drinks.”

“I got it.”

///

_ “And then-” _

_ Vanjie is talking, her wig a long brown curly one, her dress a Nina West merch t-shirt. Monique is in a sequined gown, and looking like pageant perfection. Her and Monique are standing on stage, entertaining. They’re both holding shot glasses. _

_ “Now Vanjie isn’t single, but we’re still looking for hung men.” _

_ “No we not!” Vanjie yells into her microphone. _

_ “She’s just being respectful.” Monique smiles, wiggling her brows. “That man took his shirt off for you Vanj,” Monique points into the audience. “Look at those little nips nips.” _

_ The audience cheers, both Monique and Vanjie completely taken by surprise as Brooke shows up in the background in a grey tank top and black leather shorts. _

_ “Stud!” Vanjie smiles brightly, throwing her arms around Brooke.  _

_ “Wait am I hearing that correctly?” Monique looks over at them. “He walking out here calling and you calling him stud? He ain't no fucking stud!" _

_ “Don’t be disrespectful. Don’t be disrespectful. “ _

_ Brooke says something into Vanjie’s hair, but the microphone doesn’t pick it up. He unscrews the bottle, and gives it to Vanjie. _

_ “She said I’m with him now, but bitch, that’s all mine, okay?” Monique laughs loudly, and Vanjie smiles even as she flips her off. _

_ “You said you want him?” _

_ “Bitch I want him any day of the week!” Vanjie detaches herself from Brooke, the bottle of water now in her hand, the floor getting splashed. “Where’s the shots?” Vanjie looks around.  _

_ Brooke is about to walk off stage, but he stops.  _

_ “Where’s the shots? I ain’t kidding. I need a shot.” _

_ Vanjie spots an audience member, who’s holding up a bottle, but Brooke comes over and refuses the drink on her behalf by shaking his head.  _

_ “Oh, he’s mad at me.” Vanjie pouts, and Brooke laughs. _

_ “Help! Vanjie!” Monique has fallen down. “Help, I can’t get up.” _

_ Vanjie looks up at Brooke. “We’re gonna take the shot after you help her get up.” Vanjie points, and Brooke shakes his head, but he still gives Monique a hand. _

_ “Girl,” Monique get’s back up. “That core strength, honey.” Monique is standing right next to Brooke, nestled into his side. _

_ “If y’all look at Brooke Lynn’s lower level,” Monique points with her hand, presenting Brooke’s crotch. it’s hanging to the right.”  _

_ Brooke pulls up his t-shirt, and Vanjie chokes on her water on the other end of the stage. _

_ “Oh, he was looking!” Monique points into the audience. “He was looking, bitch, he was looking! He said oo, oo.” Monique does a little dance. _

_ “That’s what helps him get the balance when he’s on his tippy toes.” Vanjie wiggles her brows, but she still pulls Brooke’s shirt down, and is clearly not amused. _

_ Monique is standing near the edge of the stage, holding her hand to her ear. “You top? Oh, oh!” Monique laughs. “You got a top, you got a top up here, Brooke Lynn. She don’t have no ass.” Monique turns Brooke to the side, her hand on his shorts. “This is Brooke Lynn’s ass.” _

_ Brooke grabs his own ass, showing it off. _

_ “She don’t need a top.” Vanjie speaks into her microphone. “He don’t want a top.”  _

_ Brooke laughs  _

_ “When she bend over, is it still there?” Monique smiles. “That’s the question.” _

_ Brooke bends, the audience cheers.  _

_ “You can get about 4 pumps and then you hitting bone. So you can do that rough porn fucking, but not real hardcore fucking. You know there’s a difference, right? _

_ Vanjie walks to the edge of the stage, and is given a bottle of vodka that she hands to Brooke. _

_ “Let’s take the shots, honey.” _

_ “Ooo, out of the bottle?” Monique takes it from Brooke, while Brooke is putting an arm around Vanjie and pulling her close.  _

_ “Bitch, I am a lady.” _

_ “Don’t be mad.” Brooke smiles, his words picked up by the mic.  _

_ “You know I got the tracking device locked and loaded.” _

_ Monique drops her jaw. “You got tracking devices on each other?” _

_ Brooke rolls his eyes, and he clearly doesn’t think it’s funny. _

_ “Oh you prissy now. Is it cause you the tall one that sucks dick?” _

_ Brooke’s arm is still around Vanjie, and Monique continues talking. _

_ “I feel like Vanjie could manhandle your little tall self. You know Vanjie. Nothing hotter than a short top with a big ass bottom, bitch, that is hot as hell.” _

_ Brooke rolls his eyes, but he kisses Vanjie’s cheek. _

_ “Take a shot.” Vanjie holds the bottle up, and Brooke grabs it to attempt to hold it away from his face, but the audience cheer. _

_ “Do it!” Vanjie laughs, and Brooke takes one, everyone laughing as Monique starts to wrap down the show, Vanjie emptying the bottle Brooke gave her. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to PoppedtheP for betaing!!


	5. Chapter 5

“Vanj, I’m saying this as your manager-” Jason was walking along side Vanjie, the show finally wrapped up.

“And?” Vanjie was wiping her face with Nina’s t-shirt. She was trying to wipe the sweat off, but instead she managed to ruin the white fabric, the t-shirt looking like one of Trixie’s makeup wipes.

“And I’m saying this because I love you-”

“Shit…” Vanjie looked at the t-shirt, the somewhat sober part of her brain catching on to the fact that she had effectively just ruined the merch Nina had given her.

“You gotta cut back on the - Are you even listening to me?”

Vanjie looked up and over at Jason, her manager standing with his arms crossed, annoyance radiating from him.

“What?”

Jason groaned, covering his hand with his face as he took a deep breath. 

“Fine.” Jason removed his hand. “Fine. Find out on your own tomorrow.”

“Find out what?”

“That sober you is going to regret everything you said on that stage about you and Brock.” Jason sighed, her manager touching her arm and guiding her to her dressing room. “At least you were pretty funny.”

“Mama.” Vanjie looked at Jason, a smirk on her face. “I’m fucking hilarious.”

///

_ “You know.” Monique is eating a fruit gummy, her makeup still on. She’s in a dressing room, Vanjie in the background. “They really love you and Brooke Lynn together-“ _

_ “They better-“ Vanjie points at the camera, a makeup wipe on her hand. Her chest is naked, her brown skin sparkling with leftover glitter. _

_ “They want you to be together for a long time.” Monique smiles, as Vanjie walks closer to the camera. _

_ “Y’all know what I said on the show.” Vanjie shrugs, smugness radiating from her. “If you want it to work, it’ll work.” _

_ Monique moves the camera. “Ain’t that the truth.” _

_ “And this shit.” Vanjie smiles. “It better fucking work. Cause he worth it.” _

///

“Brock?!”

Brooke looked up from where he had been sitting with Detox, the voice one he would know anywhere. They were huddled together on two wooden boxes, lit cigarettes in hands.

“Over here!” Brooke quickly stubbed his smoke, stepping on it and popping a piece of gum, quickly chewing on it in an attempt to hide the ashy taste in his mouth. 

They had hid in a corner of the club yard, neither of them super interested in meeting the fans that Brooke knew were flocking outside from Meatballs socials.

“Coming!”

“Know what?” Brooke turned slightly, just to see Detox with the world's most annoying smirk on his lips. 

“What?” He raised an eyebrow, Detox looking like a little boy that had discovered the most perfect taunt.

“Love suits you.” Detox chuckled.

“Oh shut up-“ Brooke felt himself flush, his cheeks growing hot.

“Who would have known. The great Brock Hayhoe, smiling like a teenager-“

“Bitch how the fuck-“ Vanjie yelled, “Brock where the fuck you at?!”

Both Brooke and Detox laughed, the two men standing up, Vanjie spotting them instantly as they rose to their full height.

“There you are!” Vanjie put his hands on his side, his tone lightly scolding. “You want us to miss all the fun?” 

Vanjie’s words were harsh, but he betrayed them as he walked up to Brooke, eagerly burrowing himself in his arms.

Brooke smiled, “As far as I remember, I was ready before you even got off stage.”

Vanjie snorted, Brooke’s logic clearly neither understood nor appreciated. 

Brooke kissed Vanjie’s hair, and Detox made a gagging sound, which made Brooke laugh and Vanjie pull away.

“Bitch you hating-“ Vanjie pointed at Detox, “but we cute as fuck.”

“Oh absolutely.” Detox watched Vanjie, his expression fond in the same way that you looked at an adorable puppy that acted up. “Couple of the year.”

Vanjie puffed his chest out, clearly pleased, and Brooke chuckled.

“So you bros coming or what?” Vanjie tucked on Brooke’s shorts, attempting to pull him with him, but Brooke stood firm.

Brooke looked down, Vanjie smiling, his eyes filled with a mischievous delight. 

“Coming where?” The bus had pulled up, Brooke halfway planning to simply crawl into whatever bunk bed hell they had been offered.

“To the club! Monique got that hot goss on where you wanna throw down for the hoe down!”

Detox laughed loudly. “I’m too old for a hoe down.”

“You wanna be an oldie, you be an oldie!” Vanjie smirked, Detox laughing again, the man stubbing his cigarette and leaving, Brooke and Vanjie alone in the concrete yard, Brooke’s arms still around Vanjie.

“What about you?” Vanjie smiled, his hand sliding into the backpocket of Brooke’s shorts. “You wanna get it on?”

“With you?” Brooke remembered how nice it had been dancing with Vanjie, how fun it was to let loose with his boyfriend as a couple. “Take me away.”

///

_ “What the fuck you doing!” Meatball cackles, the camera turned to Vanjie who’s in an orange t-shirt and black shorts, a fanny pack strapped to his leg.  _

_ “I’m sweating like a sinner in church!” _

_ He’s standing underneath a white square, fanning himself, a drink in his other hand.  _

_ “I’m too hot for this club!” _

_ There is a loud techno beat in the background, the club half full with men dancing. _

_ “Get that AC bitch!” Meatball laughs, and Vanjie opens his mouth, like a dog that’s trying to cool down. _

_ Nina pops in, the man wearing a black t-shirt with a Frozen print on the front. “Can’t you just go outside?” _

_ “You think I’m stupid?” Vanjie glazes at the dance floor, "I can't leave!" before he looks at Nina, and Nina’s expression betrays that he absolutely thinks so. “You think they be trying to smoke us out! The UK is fucked like that.” Vanjie looks at the camera, holding up his hand. “No offense. No offense.” _

_ “Maybe that want people to strip.” Nina smirks and shrugs, which makes Meatball chuckle. _

_ “There a guy or two in here you’d like to see do that Miss West?” _

_ “Never say no to a little magic.” _

_ Vanjie jumps, and Meatball turns the camera fully on him again. “Too bad the AC is that high up.” _

_ “High up- Wait.” Vanjie looks around. “Brock!” _

_ Meatball follows him with the camera, to where Brooke is dancing with Morgan. _

_ “Brock!” _

_ Brooke turns around, and Vanjie waves. Brooke raises his drink, and Vanjie shakes his head, waving again which makes Brooke laugh and walk over, Vanjie kissing him quickly. _

_ “What?” _

_ Vanjie puts his hand on Brooke’s forearm, and points up, and Brooke follows his finger. “... Seriously?” _

_ “Please.” _

_ Brooke rolls his eyes, but he still puts his drinks down on a table, and Vanjie smiles brightly.  _

_ Brooke puts his arm under Vanjie’s ass, lifting him up in one go and holding his legs against his chest, Vanjie now at level with the AC, the cold air washing over him, and Vanjie clearly loves it. _

///

“Come on hot stuff.” Vanjie smiled to himself. Dancing in the club had sobered him up completely, while Brooke had gotten progressively tipsy, the other man accepting drinks from the other patrons of the club left and right, the poor ballet dancer still more than present in Brooke whenever he got drunk. 

“I’m walking.” They were all going together in a big group, Monique leading the pack.

“You are.” Vanjie was under Brooke’s arm, his hands holding Brooke’s in place, though it was more for comfort than support, Brooke more than able to walk himself. “But we gotta get to the bus.”

Nina had gotten a text, Tim the assistant clearly trusting him the most, and it had been the right choice since Nina had rounded them all up in a matter of minutes, even Monique and Morgan following Nina’s directions without any complaints.

“I know-” Brooke stopped dead in his tracks, pulling Vanjie back in the sudden halt.

“Bitch what the-” Vanjie looked up. “What you playing at, we just agreed-”

“There.” Brooke pointed, and Vanjie looked.

“... Are you serious?” Vanjie recognised the sign instantly. “Babe we have to-” He tucked on Brooke’s arm, but it was a lost case.

“I want KFC.” Brooke stood firm, his boyfriend as stubborn as a donkey when it came to late night junk food. “KFC, KFC, KFC-” Brooke started chanting, and Vanjie both loved and hated how much of a jock drunk Brooke could be.

“Shut up,” Vanjie grabbed Brooke’s other hand. “You a whole ass football team-” Vanjie hoped no one else heard him, waiting in line for junk really not something he wanted to do, but his hopes got completely squashed as he heard Meatball yell.

“There a KFC here?!”

///

_ The camera films half on Vanjie’s face.  _

_ “You guys wanna know what queens do on a night out?” _

_ Vanjie turns the camera, Monique standing next to him with a bag of KFC in hand. _

_ “You gotta get that protein girl.” Monique smiles, pointing at Vanjie with a bit of chicken in his hand. “The lord said feed yourself, and I’m doing it.” _

_ “Ain’t feeding me nothing.” Vanjie chuckles, and films more, Nina drinking a soda while Morgan and Meatball are eating fries out of the same bag. _

_ “And there we got your current reigning y’all.” Vanjie films Brooke, who has his entire hand inside his paper bag. “America's Drag Superstar." _

_ Brooke looks up, a smile on his face as he flips Vanjie off, Vanjie gasping in mock offense. _

###  ///

“Fuck.” Brooke groaned as he laid down in the bottom bunk, his shoes toed off and discarded on the floor behind him. His body felt heavy and warm, the mattress depressingly thin under him. 

“I’d like to have-” Brooke burped slightly, beer and fried chicken mixed together really not a fun cocktail. “A serious talk with however designs these busses.” Brooke threw his hat on the floor as well. “They’re designed for dwarfs.”

“Maybe you’re just too tall.” Morgan smirked, and Brooke snorted. Brooke loved Morgan, the other queen the most delicious blend of cutthroat and sweetheart.

“Uh,” Monique stumbled upstairs, the stairs a bit much for most of them. “Is this bunk free?” Monique looked down at Brooke, as he put his bag in the bunk directly above him. 

Brooke was just about to open his mouth, just about to warn his sister, when a voice cut in.

“Nu uh!” Vanjie stalked over. “Ho you better step aside!”

Brooke chuckled, Vanjie even faster than he had expected.

“I don’t see your name on it?” Monique put his hand on his hip, clearly playing up just to annoy Vanjie, and Brooke smiled as it worked just as intended.

“You blind or what?” Vanjie pointed at Brooke, Brooke instinctively holding his hands up to indicate that he had no part in it.

“And that means you get to be closer to the fridge because?” Monique was smirking, and Vanjie laughed too, finally catching on that he was being played with. 

“Bitch don’t try me. Where his ass goes, mine follow.”

“Fine. Fine.” Monique took his bag. “Take it if it matters that much, but don’t you forget.” Monique touched Vanjie’s shoulder. “I’m a good ass sister, and you owe me one.”

///

Brooke was laying in bed, brushing his teeth with the toothbrush Detox had brought him, his friend rolling his eyes and telling him that he’d get him water too when he saw that Brooke didn’t hit his mouth on the first try.

Brooke was humming the song his mother used to sing to get him to stand still in his head, when he heard Vanjie snicker. 

“Wh-” Brooke swallowed his toothpaste, trying again. “What?”

“Nothing.” 

Brooke moved the curtain, just to see Vanjie who was hanging from the top bunk, phone in hand, clearly taking pictures of something. 

“You little shit.” Brooke nipped Vanjie’s elbow, which made the other man yelp, Vanjie nearly dropping his phone. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing!” Vanjie smiled.

“Say that to his story-” Detox handed Brooke the bottle of water he had promised, his phone in hand. “Seems like you didn’t get the nickname twinkle toes for nothing.”

Brooke looked down, the bottle at his mouth, and he realized his foot was hanging off the edge of the bed. “What..”

Detox turned his phone with a smile on his face, Brooke seeing that Vanjie had taken pictures of his toes and put them online, Brooke snorting so hard water almost came out his nose.

///

Vanjie wanted to sleep. He really, really did, but he couldn’t focus, couldn’t slow down, his mind racing away. The bus was rumbling beneath them, the driver pulling out the moment everyone was in bed, but Vanjie couldn’t fall asleep. It hadn’t been a problem on the season 10, or even the season 11 tour, Vanjie so exhausted he had gone out like a light most nights.

“Brock?”

“Mmh?”

Vanjie smiled to himself, Brooke’s voice sleepy and sweet.

“You awake?” Vanjie sat up, waiting for his boyfriend's reply, the entire thing feeling secret, like they were doing something they weren’t supposed to.

“I’m answering you, aren’t I?”

“Bitch-” Vanjie popped his head over the edge, grabbing the curtain. 

“What kind of attitude is that?” Vanjie pulled it aside, to see Brooke who was laying halfway on top of the covers, his leg pulled up, only a jockstrap covering his perfect ass.

Brooke started laughing. He had apparently been reading, the little reading light Vanjie had gotten him for christmas clipped to the pages of his book.

“What?” Vanjie hissed, too scared to be loud in case he woke up Detox, Vanjie actually a little afraid of how prissy he knew the other queen could get.

“Stay still.”

“Why?” Vanjie pulled back a little, surprised at Brooke’s command, when the other man pulled his phone out from underneath his pillow, snapping a photo right away.

“Bitch-” Vanjie reached for his toes, catching them between his fingers and pinching them tight, which made Brooke laughed.

“Ow- Stop-” Brooke shuffled his foot in an attempt to get Vanjie to release it. “Get in here asshole.”

Vanjie stopped, Brooke never offering anything like that on the season 11 tour, but he had also not been anywhere near as tipsy.

“I’m serious.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously serious. Now come on before I change my mind.”

Brooke lifted his duvet, and Vanjie swung himself down. There wasn’t enough room at all, but it didn’t matter as he got to snuggle into Brooke’s arms, his boyfriend smelling like cigarettes and cologne and sweat, Vanjie burrowing his face in Brooke’s neck, everything warm and perfect and right as Vanjie closed his eyes.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains a jealouse handjob in the last scene, but with explicit consent.

Brooke groaned as his mind fizzled to the top of the ocean that was sleep. All he could feel was the heavy hammer of a headache, half of his head filled with a fuzzy mass that clouded his brain. He felt sweaty and warm, his body overheated, something heavy laying on him.

“Stop moving-”

Brooke could hear a gruff voice, that he quickly identified as Vanjie. Wait. Vanjie?

“What the-” Brooke opened his eyes, and looked down to see his boyfriend, the other man somehow in the bunk with him. “What are you doing down here?”

Brooke took stock of the situation, Vanjie’s hair in the messy state it only was after a long night of deep, uninterrupted sleep. There was one difference from their usual somewhat idyllic mornings to the situation they were in now, and that was Vanjie’s offended expression, his raised brow clearly communicating to Brooke exactly what he thought of the question he had asked. 

“You invited me?”

Brooke leaned back, resting his head against the pillow, a soft wave of nausea rolling over him.

He vaguely remembered that he had probably actually invited Vanjie into his bunk, his hand softly petting Vanjie’s shoulder. Time passed by in the slow way it only did when he was hungover, anxiety threatening to sink its claws into his stomach, but it was all chased away by Vanjie’s soft voice, Brooke cracking his eyes open once again to see that Vanjie was on his phone, his boyfriend chatting away with his fans about last night. 

Brooke moved his head slightly, to get a better view, but a sharp lightning bolt of pain pierced through his brain.

“Fuck…” Brooke growled, and Vanjie perked up instantly, shutting off his stream without a second thought.

“You okay?” Vanjie put his hand on Brooke’s forehead, his thumbnail poking him in the nose.

“If feels like I’m dying.”

“You want some water?” Vanjie pulled away, and Brooke almost missed him, the weight actually pretty comforting, but the thought of cold water was much too tempting.

“Please.”

“Coming soon old man.” 

Vanjie slapped his chest, and Brooke groaned, a laugh leaving him as Vanjie climbed over him, his boyfriend disappearing downstairs, and Brooke smiled a little at how considerate Vanjie was being. 

Vanjie was always incredibly caring and attentive, the memories that slowly resurfaced from their night out only reminding Brooke of how much his boyfriend watched out for him, and while it made him happy, it also left a slightly sour taste in his mouth, his anxiety whispering to him if he truly deserved the level of unselfish devotion.

///

Vanjie was tapping his foot against the sidewalk pavement, his fingers drumming on the table as he tried to wait patiently for the food the others at their table had ordered.

Meatball had rolled out of his bunk the moment the bus stopped, taking stock of who else was awake, before he happily dragged them out to brunch, Nina, Brooke, Vanjie and Meatball himself all sitting around a small wobbly table at the first cafe they could find. 

Vanjie had ordered a smoothie and two sparkling waters, his post drink stomach not in the mood for any kinds of solid. He took another drink, the sweet strawberry exactly what he wanted, but he felt Brooke’s eyes on him, and as he looked up he saw a somewhat strange expression on his boyfriends face, though he couldn’t actually read it, Brooke’s sunglasses blocking off his eyes.

“So, what do we wanna see in Burningham?” Nina was already on his phone, the man clearly excited to explore a city that wasn’t Columbus, Nina more often than not begging off from tours because he had so much going on in his home city. “Uh! Brock-” Nina looked at his friend. “They have a wildlife park-”

“Ssssh.” Nina was cut off by Meatball, who gently put a hand over his mouth. “We need a lot less talking-”

Nina laughed, pulling Meatball’s hand from his face, but he respected the ban, the other man truly looking like roadkill after their first night out.

Vanjie hadn’t known Meatball very well before the tour, had only really bumped into him a time or two at drag con, but he was already in love with Meatballs energy, the other clearly just as crazy as he was. Meatball actually reminded him a bit of Silky, both of them always down for an adventure.

Vanjie was stirring his smoothie, lost in his thoughts, when their server came back, a practical buffet on his trays.

“Who ordered the full fry up?”

Brooke raised his hand, and the server handed him a steaming hot breakfast place. Vanjie looked at the plate, his nose scrunching slightly at all the different stuff that was on it, though the beans actually looked kind of good. Vanjie grabbed a fork, inching towards Brooke’s plate to taste them, when he noticed something he had never seen before.

“The fuck is that?”

“Black pudding.” 

Vanjie figured that didn’t sound too bad, but Brooke pushed his fork away the minute it came near his plate.

“Hey!” Vanjie felt his nostrils flare, sharing food one of the basics of any good couple he had ever seen on TV. “I just wanted a-”

Brooke put his sunglasses into his hair, his blue eyes looking tired but a whole lot more alive after he had scarfed down a few bites already. “It’s a sausage.”

“You like a lil bit of sausage Vanj?” Meatball smirked, the other man wiggling his brows, his giant cup of coffee in hand.

“That little brown thing is meat?” Vanjie pulled back even further, his want for anything on Brooke’s plate completely gone. “Why they calling it pudding then?”

“Apparently-” 

Vanjie had meant it as a rhetorical question, but even though Nina had stopped discussing their plans for the day, he hadn’t actually put his phone away.

“It comes from the french word boudin, which means-”

Everyone groaned in unison, Brooke loudest of all, and Nina laughed, finally putting his phone donw.

///

_ “So.” Vanjie takes a step back from his phone. He’s filming in a white room, a garment rack behind him. He’s wearing a black cap, and an orange t-shirt.  _

_ “Y’all know it’s blistering hot in the UK.” _

_ “It’s pretty intense.” Brooke’s voice comes from outside the screen, but he steps in besides Vanjie.  _

_ “Ain’t you got your own dressing room?” _

_ “I just wanted to help your point.” Brooke smiles. He’s wearing a white t-shirt, and black leather shorts, and he holds his arm up, showing off some major pit stains. _

_ “Bitch-” Vanjie grabs Brooke’s arm and pulls it down as he rolls his eyes, Brooke’s antics clearly not very charming. “It true though-” Vanjie looks back at the camera. “We just a few notches away from the same heat in hell.” _

_ Vanjie starts unpacking his suitcase, a door opens, and Brooke walks off screen. _

_ “Now- I don’t mind the heat.” Vanjie holds his hand up, his white acrylic nails catching the sunlight. “I’m from Florida, I’m from the islands, but bitch -” _

_ “Who are you talking to?” Morgans voice calls through the room. _

_ “I’m letting the people of America know.” Vanjie looks off screen. “The circumstances are rough!” Vanjie shakes a dress, getting the wrinkles out. “I don’t normally really complain. I’m an easy peasy kinda bitch.” _

_ Brooke head shows up in the side of the screen, his eyebrow raised and he mouths ‘easy peasy’, which makes Vanjie hit his shoulder. _

_ “I’m not! I’m regular. I Uber lift to the places! Just get me some water and I’m good.” Vanjie looks at the camera. “They got us getting ready in a sauna, but you know me, not too high matinence _

_ Brooke smiles to himself. “Not at all.” _

_ “You being a bitch on purpose, or you think you being cute?” Vanjie looks annoyed, the heat very clearly getting to him.  _

_ “Cute.” Brooke smirks, and Vanjie softens. He kisses Brooke before he pushes him off screen, the door opening and closing in the background.  _

_ “You love to complain.” Morgan pops up where Brooke left. He’s wearing Elvis style sunglasses, and a grey tank top. _

_ “Nu uh!” Vanjie looks distraught. “Don’t tell them that. I take pictures I’m glad with everything!” _

_ “It is pretty warm.” Brooke is back, this time carrying three water bottles, one of which he hands to Vanjie, the other one to Morgan. Brooke walks by again, this time drinking water. Hands Vanjie a bottle. _

_ “It’s not warm, it’s humid-” Morgan. _

_ “It’s cause we at the top. We Quasimode and it’s the motherfucking bell tower.” Vanjie opens his water, and drinks from it. _

_ “Uuuuuh!” Morgan grabs something from Vanjie’s bag, his other hand grabbing Brooke as he shows off one of Vanjie’s shoes. “Guys. We have to talk about this-” _

_ “I’m not getting involved.” Brooke smiles. _

_ “What you hoes doing!” Vanjie jumps up in the background, attempting to look over the two tell men who’s blocking his view. “We ain’t finished discussing nothing!” _

_ “This is orthopedic,” Morgan touches the heel, “and it’s a disgrace.”  _

_ Brooke takes the shoe, but he shrugs. “I think it’s smart to take care of your feet.” _

_ “Don’t you know it-” Vanjie has finally fought his way through, and he grabs the shoe. “Y’all should see Brocks toe-” _

_ “We know.” Morgan stands up. “You’ve already told us.” _

_ Brooke smiles. _

_ “Ain’t I even allowed to talk about my man on my stream?” Vanjie puts his hand on his hip. “Sides, we talking about the heat. It’s sticky as fuck in here-” Vanjie points his shoe at the stream. “So don’t get too close to me tonihgt. You know why.” _

_ “Shit it’s hot in here.” Morgan coughs, and Vanjie turns to him. _

_ “Don’t get too close to me, I just started feeling all good after that last tour.” _

_ “And that window doesn’t even open.” Morgan groans. Brooke walks off, Morgan fanning himself with his hand. _

_ “I’m sorry y’all.” Vanjie leans in, and gets close to the stream. “This wasn’t even what I wanted to tell y’all. I don’t really complain. No one is gonna do this on purpose to us- I’m just-” Vanjie groans. “I’m so hot, I don’t even think I’ma get my brows to glue down, but I’m gonna make it work-” _

_ A pop is heard, and both Morgan and Vanjie look over. _

_ “No way!” Morgan pushes his sunglasses into his hair. “You opened the fucking window?!” _

_ “I tried that three fucking times!” _

_ Brooke walks back into screen. “I just put some elbow grease into it.” _

_ Vanjie puts his arms around Brooke, and kisses him, while Morgan laughs.  _

///

Vanjie ran by the backstage, her heels hitting the floor as she ignored the first twinges of hurt in her knee. She had lost one of her earrings on stage, the heat making it slide right off, and she hadn’t noticed until she had made it back to her dressing room. It was one of her favorite pairs, and she wasn’t leaving Burningham with out.

Vanjie hoped one of the staff, or an assistant had picked it up. She had hoped to just sneak to the stage, but as she actually made it there, she stopped dead in her tracks.

Brooke had told her she was doing a number with Detox, but Vanjie hadn’t asked what they were actually doing together.

Brooke and Detox were wearing identical outfits in royal blue, their wigs and makeup down in almost the same style. Vanjie had never heard the number, but it was a filthy track, female voices saying phrases that sounded like it came from a porn over and over again.

Detox was sitting on the edge of the stage, lipsyncing to the song and Vanjie watched as Brooke threw a leg over Detox’s shoulder, her hips working in a rhytme that Vanjie knew intimately well, Brooke clearly pretending she was fucking Detox’s face.

It was insanely hot, Brooke easily exuding raw sexual energy whenever she felt like it, and Vanjie could feel her cock stir in her underwear, her pants so loose she hadn’t needed to tug, but she also felt her stomach open up, unease traveling down her spine.

“Vanjie, is this yours?”

Vanjie was pulled out of her trance, one of the scene assistants standing with her earring in hand.

“Yes. Yes it’s mine.”

/// 

Brooke was picking the last pieces of glue out of his eyebrows, when he heard the door to his dressing room open. 

They had finished the show, Vanjie keeping to the other part of the stage, dancing with their sisters, Monique organising another night out the minute they had all stepped off stage.

“Hello?” Brooke called out, expecting a reply, but instead he saw Vanjie in his mirror, his boyfriend closing the door behind him, and locking it.

“Hey baby.” Brooke smiled, turning around in his chair. Vanjie didn’t say anything, the other man simply crawling into his lap.

“What’s-”

“Pants.”

Brooke laughed at the command, but it seemed like Vanjie was absolutely serious, his boyfriends hands already pulling at the jeans Brooke had picked for their night out.

“Hey-”

Vanjie succeeded in getting his buttons opened, his hand going directly for his dick, and Brooke’s hips thrust up on their own accord, the feel of a palm on his cock not at all what he expected.

“Let me-” Vanjie bit his lip, and twisted his wrist, his hand actually wrapping around Brooke inside his underwear. “Please?”

“Yes?” Brooke didn’t really understand the question, Vanjie’s hand already in his pants, but it felt important. 

“Yes. Always yes.”

Vanjie got even closed, and Brooke arched his back, his cock growing harder. He reached up to grab Vanjie’s hair, pulling his boyfriend in for a kiss, Brooke needing Vanjie’s lips against his.

Brooke loved Vanjie, and he felt himself drown in him. He was barely hard, but he could smell his boyfriend, could feel his weight on top of his, Vanessa's sweet scent mixing with the spices of Jose, and it was confusing and arousing, Vanjie’s wild desire something he had tried before, but this had an edge to it.

“Shit-” Brooke whispered against Vanjie’s lips, but as he tried to kiss him again, Vanjie bit him.

Brooke pulled back, his eyes wide with surprise. “What-”

“You’re mine.” Vanjie’s eyes were dark, the mood shifting even further.

“Yes?”

“Say it.” Vanjie’s tone was absolutely serious. “Say it. Please.”

“I’m yours.”

Vanjie smiled, and leaned against him, his entire body relaxing, their chests against each other. Vanjie twisted his hand, clearly attempting to continue the handjob even though they were pressed together, but instead, he managed to stab Brooke directly in the balls with his thumb nail.

“Fuck!”

Brooke kicked his leg, pain radiating through him, Vanjie bouncing in his lap.

“Shit!” ” Vanjie pulled his hand out of Brooke’s pants immediately. “Shit shit shit.” He threw his arms around his neck, holding him tight. “You okay?”

Brooke hid his head in Vanjie’s shoulders, a deep groan leaving him. “God that hurts.”

“I’m sorry.” Vanjie kissed Brooke’s temple, his hand in his hair. “Sorry sorry sorry sorry.” Vanjie whispered it against Brooke’s skin, repeating the word over and over. 

“It feels like you ruptured my sack.” Brooke mumbled into Vanjie’s skin, the hand in his hair very soothing.

“Don’t be dramatic.”

Brooke pulled back, the smile on Vanjie’s face telling Brooke that he knew exactly how bratty he was acting.

“Is that the conversation you want to have right now?”

Vanjie moved backwards, and Brooke instantly put a hand on his ass, making sure he didn’t fall off the chair. Vanjie reached for his jeans again, and Brooke spread his legs a little, Vanjie pulling them apart and Brooke looked down to see that he was thankfully not actually bleeding to death though it kinda felt like it, his dick still half hard even through the scare.

“I am very sorry.” Vanjie smirked as he carefully wrapped his hand around Brooke’s cock once again. 

“Mmh…” Brooke’s eyes slid half closed, Vanjie’s other hand still in his hair, the nails gently scratching his scalp. He was still a little annoyed, but it felt great. 

“Want me to make it better?” Vanjie twisted his wrist slightly, focusing on the head in the exact way he knew Brooke loved.

“You promise not to stab me?” Brooke smiled, the tease already growing between them, and Vanjie nodded, a laugh leaving them both before they kissed again, the weird tension from when Vanjie had first entered the room completely gone.


	7. Chapter 7

“Want to synchronize our watches?” Nina smiled, his phone in his hand.

Everyone was sitting downstairs in the bus, the english country road passing by outside. 

The bus had stopped for breakfast at a gas station, but Vanjie hadn’t wanted to leave the cocoon of his bunk, Brooke rolling his eyes as he had tried to wake him but Vanjie had refused to get up, he was, however, pretty sure his boyfriend wasn’t all that upset, since he had returned with a smoothie, redbull and a coffee for him.

“Are we taking it that seriously?” Brooke smiled as he was shaking a yoghurt with his free hand.

Vanjie was tucked under Brooke’s arm. He had stolen one of Brooke’s hoodies, the fabric bunched around his elbows since it was way too big.

“Yes?” Nina huffed. “It’s good deals Brockie. Didn’t you listen when I explained it to you?”

Brooke laughed, and Vanjie could feel that Brooke gently nudged Nina’s foot under the table.

“Where you going?” Vanjie was about halfway finished with his smoothie, his brain slowly waking up.

“Shopping!” Nina smiled, his face bright. “Papa wants some new clothes.” Nina wiggled his brows, and both Brooke and Nina laughed, some sort of joke clearly shared between them.

“So you asking Mr. Fashion to help you out?” Vanjie looked up at Brooke, his nose slightly wrinkled.

“Hey!” Brooke huffed, even though he was clearly not that offended. “We have style.”

That was questionable. Very, questionable. Vanjie clearly remembered every piece of clothing Brooke and Nina bought on the cruise, and while he liked a few of the things - a black tight t-shirt looked good on everyone - Vanjie had banished most of the floral prints to the bottom of Brooke’s boy closet, where he not so silently hoped they would never see the light of day again.

“We do.” Brooke kissed Vanjie’s hair.

“Mmh.” Vanjie took his coffee, his lip between his teeth as Brooke and Nina chatted back and forth about what stores they wanted to visit first, Nina apparently finding a sample sale outlet. 

Vanjie knew Brooke had other friends, knew that he had people he shared things with he didn’t have with Vanjie, but it still stung that Brooke hadn’t even considered asking him if he wanted to come along.

Too many of his relationships had taken that turn sooner or later, his boyfriends starting to spend more and more time with friends, the partner he loved suddenly choosing everyone else over him, and no matter what he did, no matter how he fought for it, he always ended up all alone once again.

Vanjie could feel his mood sour, his chest feeling hotter and hotter with anger and disappointment, even though he was literally tucked under his boyfriends arm, Brooke’s thumb gently rubbing his shoulder.

“Do you want the rest?” 

Vanjie was pulled out of his spiral by Brooke’s voice, the other man offering half a croissant up for the taking.

“Why?” Vanjie’s wrinkled his brow, not even realising the suspicion in his voice until he saw the smile Nina tried to hide. Brooke loved croissants, his boyfriend happily eating four or even five if he was left to his own devices. 

“Because you like them?” Brooke smiled, confusion clearly on his face, and Vanjie saw how unfair he was being.

“Thanks…” He took it, popping the pastry in his mouth. He still felt annoyed, but it was hard to be angry about Brooke’s lack of loyalty, when he was being cuddled, fed and spoiled.

///

_ “Oh!”  _

_ The camera is filming a meet and greet meetup. Vanjie is standing with a fan in front of her. Vanjie is in silver boots, black shorts, a black and red basketball tee, a white fur slung over her shoulder. She’s wearing a caramel wig, and a red beret. _

_ “You got the shirt on!” Vanjie smiles brightly, and she touches the fans shoulders.  _

_ “I do.” The woman smiles, and Vanjie laughs. Vanjie looks up, and she sees the camera. “Uh!” Vanjie turns the fan and herself towards it, so their fronts are caught on tape. _

_ “Look!” Vanjie points with her sharpie to the fans chest. The shirt has a closeup picture of Brooke’s face in her caftan look across the chest, her fingers on her lips. “That’s my boo!” _

_ The fan smiles. “It’s my favorite.” _

_ “Right?!” Vanjie looks giddy with happiness. “I picked that print!” Vanjie is clearly super proud. “The bitch ass told me it wouldn’t sell, but he hot as fuck in those!” Vanjie laughs, pleasure radiating from her. “You’re the first babe I’ve seen with the shirt!” _

_ The fan laughs, and she looks embarrassed but happy, Vanjie clearly overwhelming her.  _

_ “Can you-” _

_ Vanjie sees that the fan has taken a print with her.  _

_ “Sure, shit, sure! Sorry!” Vanjie grabs it and walks to a little table to sign. “The shirt sold out so fast!” _

_ The fan nods. “I got it on the first day of DragCon.” _

_ “Right!” Vanjie smiles. “I got one too. Got it for free.” Vanjie laughs and signs the photo. “The perk of being the boyfriend you know, and I cocreated that shit-” _

_ “I have Branjie merch too.” _

_ “You do?” Vanjie shines like a little sun. “You shouldave worn that, that would’ve been dope as fuck.” Vanjie gives the print back. “They still counting the money, but we sending that check off I promise.” _

_ “We trust you.” The fan smiles, happiness radiating from her. An assistant catches Vanjie’s attention. _

_ “Time to get the photo!” Vanjie touches the shoulder again, and lines them up for a pose, when she pauses. “Actually-” Vanjie breaks away a little. “Brock!” _

_ The camera pans to Brooke, who’s standing in a different line. She’s looking like a greek goddess, long blonde curls spilling down her shoulders. _

_ “Brock!” Vanjie calls again. _

_ Brooke looks up, looking for the source of the voice. _

_ “Come over here!” _

_ Brooke points to her chest, confusion clear on her face. _

_ “Yes you!” _

_ Brooke smiles and rolls her eyes. Brooke turns to the fan in front of her. “Give me a second?” Brooke gives her a hug. “Gotta find out what the boyfriend wants.” _

///

“Shit-” Vanjie bit her lip as she realised that she had forgotten her water bottle somewhere. She was halfnaked, all of them getting dressed in the same big backstage room, the show still 45 minutes out, and Vanjie didn’t have time to go find an assistant.

Vanjie looked at Brooke’s station, an unopened bottle on her boyfriend's table. Vanjie got up, Brooke already fully finished and in her stage outfits, her phone in hand.. 

“Mami?” Vanjie put her arms around Brooke’s neck, sliding them down her chest. Brooke looks up, their eyes meeting in the mirror. “You drinking that water?”

“Right now? No-” Brooke looked up from her phone. “Ah…” Brooke laughed, clearly a bit surprised by Vanjie’s request, but she still smile as she hands Vanjie the bottle. 

“Help.” Vanjie bumped the bottle with her elbow, her hands down Brooke’s top, her nails gently running over the smoothe skin of Brooke’s waxed chest.

“You’re such a toddler.” Brooke rolled her eyes, but she still uncapped the bottle for Vanjie. “Does her royal highness wish for me to hold the bottle as well?”

“Yes please.” Vanjie smiled, basking in Brooke’s attention, even though it was reluctant, Morgan laughing at the next table over as Brooke held the bottle up. 

Vanjie drank her fill, and she was just about to leave, when she saw a giant shopping bag stashed under Brooke’s table. “Bitch you didn’t tell me you found shit!”

Vanjie had followed their shopping adventures on Nina’s Instastory, Brooke absolutely horrid with updating herself, but Vanjie hadn’t seen Brooke carrying any bags. 

“You haven’t see- Wait- I got the most amazing thing.” Brooke pulled the bag out, quickly opening it up to pull out a royal blue Adidas jogging set. “Look!”

“That... “ Vanjie bit her lip. It was the most jock thing she had ever seen, and of course Brooke had bought it. “It nice.”

“It’s a limited edition.” Brooke smiled brightly as she pulled the jacket on, on top of her dress.

“Mmh.” Vanjie corrected Brooke’s wig, looking for anything to do so she wouldn’t have to tell her boyfriend how much she didn’t like it. Vanjie kissed the top of Brooke’s head, the strange taste of hairspray lingering on her lips while Brooke smirked, her boyfriend clearly more than pleased with herself.

///

“Next, Vanessa, Vanjie, Mateo!”

Brooke clapped as Vanjie walked on stage to bow for the audience. She was gorgeous as always, and Brooke had been lucky enough to catch the rear end of Vanjie performing her second number. Vanjie made it to the end of the stage, the audience roaring as she waved, and Brooke pulled her close, Monique already taking the stage.

They danced, Brooke not even realising that their hips were moving together until she pressed a kiss against Vanjie’s shoulder, the audience awning so loudly Brooke was suddenly overly aware of what they had to look like.

She bit the inside of her cheek, only years of ballet keeping her face neutral. Brooke wanted to let go of Vanjie, wanted to pull away, wanted everyone to stop focusing on them, but it was too late.

Vanjie leaned in further into Brooke’s embrace, and the audience yelled even louder. Brooke knew it wasn’t right, but she almost wanted to push Vanjie away, her skin itching with the sensation that the audience was treating them like animals at the zoo, itching with the strange sensation that she was someone being fetished, forced into a role she didn’t want.

Brooke had a brief flash of all the fan accounts that would tag her, of the million and one collages she would have to endure now with this very moment, a moment that she had only meant as a reassurance to Vanjie, a sign of her love and adoration.

Brooke never thought she would miss the secrecy of their contracts, but in moments like this, she truly longed for the privacy they had once had.

///

Brooke was making his way to his bunk through the maze of stuff his sisters had left behind. He had brushed his teeth downstairs, bumping into Moniques hip as they fought over the sink. 

They had all gone out for a celebratory drink after the show, even Detox coming along with them which he never did, and it had been a great night of drinking and talking with coworkers and friends.

“Ow!” Brooke jumped, as he had accidentally stubbed his toe on one of the combat boots Morgan had left behind on the floor. Brooke propped his elbow on a bunk, standing on one foot as he grabbed the other, checking to see the damage done.

“Hey man.” Meatball pulled his curtain aside, Brooke’s elbow touching his ribs. “Mind your business.”

“Sorry.” Brooke smiled, Meatball clearly teasing him. He took one last look on his toes, all his nails thankfully still there.

“You’re such a jock out of drag.” Meatball reached out, slapping his hands against Brooke’s abs. “How do you even have these on tour?”

“Anxiety?” Brooke smiled as he stood up straight. It was the unfortunate truth, though Brooke could see that Meatball really didn’t believe him.

///

Vanjie was on his phone, his duvet up under his chin as he was scrolling through apartment listings on his phone. It was a nice activity to do when he was trying to sleep, looking for apartments always giving him the most relaxing dreams.

“Hey Papi.” 

Vanjie rolled over, to see Brooke standing with his arms resting on the edge of his bunk. He was shirtless from what Vanjie could see, and he felt slightly sad that they wouldn’t be cuddled up together.

“What you want?” 

“A good night kiss?” Brooke smiled, and Vanjie felt himself melt. He raised his head slightly, and Brooke leaned in, Vanjie tasting the faint leftover of cigarettes under the peppermint of Brooke’s toothpaste.

“Hey!” Detox yelled. “Keep it PG-13!”

“Fuck you!” Vanjie laughed as he pulled the curtain past Brooke, closing them in in their own little world.

“What’s that?” Vanjie followed Brooke’s gaze, his boyfriend looking at his hand he had used to close the curtain, and Vanjie realised that Brooke could see his phone screen, and the apartment he had pulled up. “Are you stalking Rihanna again?” Brooke took the phone out of Vanjie’s hand.

“I did that one time.”

Brooke had found Vanjie using his computer without permission to look at newly released satellite photos of Rihanna’s mansion, and Brooke loved to bring it up any time he got the chance.

“Sides, RhiRhi ain’t gonna live in no apartment In West Hollywood.”

“Probably not.” Brooke smiled as he flipped through the photos. “It’s a nice apartment though.”

Vanjie perked up. “You think so?”

“I like the brick.” Brooke held the phone so Vanjie could see the picture he was referring to, and Vanjie sat up on his elbows. This was the first time Brooke had shown any interest in any conversation about apartments, and Vanjie saw his chance to jump.

“I was thinking of renting it.”

“That’s nice.” Brooke didn’t look at him, his boyfriend still flipping through the photos. “It has a good kitchen.”

Vanjie felt warmth wash over him, thoughts of Brooke cooking in the open plan kitchen already filling his mind, the idea that they would have a place together, that they were actually talking about it feeling like he was eating sun warmed honey.

“Isn’t three bedrooms a little excessive just for you though?” Brooke looked up, his hand putting Vanjie’s phone under his pillow for him so it wouldn’t get lost, and Vanjie felt like he had been hit in the face.

“Oh…” Vanjie could see the exact moment that Brooke realised what he had actually said, what Vanjie had thought. 

“Oh. Papi-” Brooke reached out, his hand settling on his knee. “I didn’t think-”

“Don’t like the brick so much now?” Vanjie snapped, shaking his leg so Brooke’s hand went away, and Brooke pulled back, acting like he had been burned.

“Please don’t-"

“Why?” Vanjie felt his nostrils flaring, fire burning in his chest. “You feeling scared? You don’t wanna talk about it? Ain’t like we’ve been dating for more than a year or nothing.”

“Jose you know I can’t-“ Brooke stood still for a while, his lip between his teeth and Vanjie could see how much he was thinking, could see how much he tried to find something to say. “You could move to Nashville?”

“You don’t even like living in Nashville.” Vanjie rolled his eyes, the disappointment only growing more bitter. He knew Brooke was only offering it because he knew Vanjie would never take it, the argument one they had already had a million times.

“You can be a shitty ass boyfriend if you wanna, but bitch at least own the fuck up to it.”

Brooke’s eyes widened. “That’s not fair.”

“This ain’t got shit to do with fair, or with Nashville, and you fucking know it.” 

Vanjie didn’t care that Brooke looked like a deer in the headlights, didn’t care that he could see his boyfriend clinging to the sheet, his fingers white with how hard he was holding onto it. 

“I don’t give a fuck where we live, you wanna move to Chicago? You wanna see New York again? We taking a chance on Toronto? I’d even move to fucking Atlanta-” Vanjie threw out an arm. “None of that bull matter, but don’t come here and act like Nashville ain’t anything but you being a lil bitch.”

Brooke was completely frozen, and Vanjie actually felt worried for a minute, unsure if he had pushed too far, but then, Brooke opened his mouth, his fingers releasing the duvet.

“Good night.”

“Brock-” Vanjie reached out, but Brooke moved away. “Let’s talk-”

“Good night.” Brooke disappeared, the curtain hanging down, and Vanjie threw his duvet over his head, burrowing his head in his pillow as he screamed his frustration out.

///

Brooke had felt Nina’s eyes on him as he crawled into bed. Everyone had heard their argument, Brooke was absolutely sure of it, even if they all thankfully had the tact to pretend like they hadn’t.

Brooke had tried to sleep, had tried to escape from their argument the easy way, but it had been impossible, and now he was lying there, everyone else fast asleep, the bus moving beneath them, as Brooke counted sheep for the third time.

Brooke wished he could call Steve, or even better, wished he could call Courtney, but there was no where on the bus where he could have the privacy to do that, no where he could escape to so he could recoup. 

Courtney already knew about his fears, the two of them talking for hours about how Brooke nearly had a panic attack each time Vanjie suggested that they moved in together.

It had started as a jest, Vanjie only dropping hints once in a while, but when they had hit the one year mark, when they had become public, Vanjie’s want had gone from hints to suggestions to demands.

Brooke had cried about being a terrible boyfriend, the hot tears so embarrassing he wished they had never happened, but Courtney had listened to him, and assured him that he wasn’t. He was just on a different path, traveling at a different speed, and if Vanjie loved him, he’d understand.

Brooke had clung to it, had clung to Courtney’s words of different paths, had believed his own words of being a late bloomer, but it had reached the point where he wasn’t a late bloomer. He was an idiot, and a cruel one at that.

Brooke could still feel the panic, could still feel his heart speed up every time his thoughts even neared the idea of moving in together, but he couldn’t sleep, and he knew he had to do something. 

Brooke got up, carefully moving Vanjie’s curtain until he was once again standing under it.

“Jose?” Brooke touched Vanjie’s cheek, rubbed it with his thumb.

Vanjie didn’t reply, his boyfriend clearly asleep.

“Jose.” Brooke grabbed his shoulder, shaking it slightly as he whispered. “Wake up.”

“Mmh?” Vanjie opened his eyes, Brooke barely able to see it. “What?”

“I love you.” Brooke felt the words all the way to his fingertips, knew how much he meant them, how true they were.

“What?” Vanjie sounded surprised and confused.

“I love you.” Brooke ran a hand through Vanjie’s hair, his scalp warm and a little sweaty. “You know that, right?”

“You waking me up to say you love me?” Vanjie smiled, and he leaned into Brooke’s hand, that had come down to his cheek, Brooke gently holding it.

“You do, right?” Brooke knew he was probably being annoying, knew he was acting strange, but he had to hear the words. “You know that I love you?”

“I do.” Vanjie turned his head, pressing a kiss into Brooke’s palm, “and I love you too asshole.” Vanjie yawned, his head dropping back on his pillow. “Now get the fuck to bed before Detox wakes up and slays our asses Buffy style.”

Brooke waited, even though he wasn’t sure on what, the bus floor cold under his bare feet, his hand still resting on Vanjie’s cheek.

“What?” Vanjie looked at him.

“Come sleep with me?” Brooke bit his lip, the question almost embarrassing. 

Vanjie giggled, and Brooke felt himself relax, the question apparently not that stupid after all. 

“Only if you carry me.” Vanjie held out an arm, and Brooke smiled as he grabbed his boyfriend, reaching under his knees and his shoulder to pluck him from his bed, duvet and all, and take him into his own bunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to ThankyoumissVanjie and PoppedtheP for helping me out!


	8. Chapter 8

Brooke woke up to a head bumping into his nose. Vanjie was laying with an arm over his chest, his teeny tiny boyfriend somehow managing to take up most of the bunk. Brooke wrinkled his nose, checking if he had actually been hurt but the pain was already retreating. 

Brooke laid still for a while, his right arm tingling since Vanjie was laying on top of it, but it was okay. Everything was okay and even kind of relaxing, until Brooke realised that the bus was completely quiet.

He pushed the curtain aside slowly, careful not to wake Vanjie, but his heart skipped a beat when he saw that they were the only ones in the bus. 

“Jose.” Brooke shook his shoulder, Vanjie’s upper body moving with it, but he wasn’t waking up. 

“Jose!” Brooke hissed, panic starting to collect along his spine.

“Wha-?” Vanjie curled in on himself, pulling the duvet up under his chin, which caused Brooke’s feet to pop out.

“Did we miss calltime?” Brooke moved on his side, Vanjie dumping down on the mattress. “Everybody else is gon-“

“They went to get breakfast.” Vanjie cut Brooke off, his boyfriend yawning a little, before he snuggled into Brooke’s chest again. 

Sleepy Vanjie was a lot like a baby animal, always searching for heat.

“Oh…” Brooke waited for a second, his panic calming down since it seemed like Vanjie had talked to the others before he left, but then he continued.

“I like breakfast.”

“Nina got your white whiny ass.” Vanjie threw a leg over Brooke’s hip, pulling him in.

“Ah-“ Brooke gasped as he came into contact with Vanjie’s body, his dick twitching at the attention. It was still fat from sleep, and Vanjie was warm and so fucking hot, their little bunk almost feeling like their own private space. 

“- Told her to get out whatever.” Vanjie yawned, and pulled Brooke even closer, his cock new firmly pressing against Vanjie’s stomach, but Brooke tried to put space between then, pulling his hips back.

“Wait-“ Brooke put a hand on Vanjie’s chest, trying to push him away.

Vanjie groaned, clearly not liking that Brooke was interrupting his sleepy mood. “Let me cuddle.” 

“Wait-“ Brooke groaned, his cock begging for attention. He hadn’t come together with Vanjie in days, rubbing one out in the showers not anywhere near how good it felt to be with his boyfriend, but they couldn’t.

“Jose I’m serious.” 

Brooke tried to push Vanjie away again, but he was getting annoyed, Vanjie hooking his foot down Brooke’s back.

“Bitch-“ Vanjie thrust his hips forward, their back and forth nearing wrestling territory, when Vanjie paused.

“Oh-“ His eyes widened, and Brooke felt a hot blush rush over him. It shouldn’t be embarrassing that he was hard, but somehow it was. 

“Don’t-“

“Well good morning to me stud.” Vanjie smirked, and Brooke felt his hand against his stomach, Vanjie’s nails scratching his skin, his fingers tugging on the strings of his sweats.

“You happy to see me?” Vanjie wiggled his brow, but if he wanted to play, they could be two about the game.

Brooke caught Vanjie’s gaze with his own, “Always-“ and he saw the exact moment Vanjie almost melted under his attention, his boyfriends cheeks flushing, his lips parting.

Vanjie groaned, moving his hips again, and Brooke moaned. The movement maddingly delicious and so fucking frustration.

“We can’t-“ Brooke grabbed Vanjie’s hip. “We’re on the bus-“

“Why?” Vanjie grinded down, fabric sliding against Brooke’s cock, Vanjie hard as well, them two of them essentially humping each other, the bunk creaking. “Ain’t like no one else is here.”

“That’s true…” Brooke bit his lip, Vanjie’s argument more than brilliant to his lust drunk brain. 

“Off-“ Vanjie pulled on his shirt, the whine in his voice making Brooke laugh.

“Are you keeping your hands where I can see them?” 

Both of Vanjie’s hands shot out from underneath the duvet, his white acrylic nails just as scary as Brooke remember them.

“Mami-“ Vanjie gave Brooke a peck. “They gonna be ‘bove the waist at all times.”

///

“Okay so who rubbed one out in the bus?” Detox slammed the door behind him, everyone turning to look at their coworker who had just come into the bus. “It reeks of fucking cum.”

They were all doing makeup together in a big open backstage area, everyone off in little groups and Vanjie had ended up sitting with Brooke and Monique.

“It’s” Detox clapped his hands “rule” clap “one” clap “of” clap “touring”, anger radiating from him. 

“Don’t fuck where you sleep.”

“Actually-“ Nina was eating a wrap, him and Meatball going on the daily McDonalds run so Meatball could complete his number. “I think it’s shit.”

Vanjie giggled, Nina usually able to defuse any situation, but just as Detox was about to calm down, Vanjie saw his eyes meet with Brooke, and Vanjie realised with horror that even though it was his job, he had forgotten to open the overhead window after their morning rut.

They were the reason the bus was stinking.

“I see someone blushing.” 

Detox stalked over, and Broone looked down, but Detox put his hands on the table, zeroing in like a shark with its prey.

“Did you enjoy some alone time sweetie?” 

Detox’s voice was sugary sweet, but his eyes spoke their own story. 

“Huh?” Detox put a finger under Brooke’s chin, tilting his head up. 

“Or did you have company?”

Brooke went completely red, his and Detox eyes locked together, and Vanjie could feel the room filling with a strange tension. 

“That’s not any of your business.”

“So you did do it?” Detox smirked. “Look at you. Man of the world.”

“Fuck you.” Brooke spat, Detox still holding his chin with a finger.

“Bitch.” Detox shot back.

“Jerk.”

The two men paused, Vanjie waiting for it all to explode, but then, they both smiled. Detox leaning forwards slightly, him and Brooke gently kissing each other, before Detox straighten up and left. 

///

“The fuck was that?” Vanjie hissed as soon as Detox had walked away. 

“A forgotten window?” Brooke smiled. “Thank god it was D. He’s at least somewhat chill.”

Vanjie was equal parts angry and horny. Angry because his boyfriend had just kissed another man in front of him like it was totally normal, and horny because Brooke and Detox looked fucking amazing together. 

“You hiding something?”

Brooke was already back to doing his makeup, his hands gently dabbing his face with yet another skin product.

“You hiding something?” Vanjie repeated, Brooke not answering him

“No?” Brooke sounded like he had done nothing wrong, and it was riling Vanjie up.

“Don’t lie. I saw that shit-” Vanjie threw out his arm, pointing to where Detox had disappeared to get a smoke.

“If I was hiding something between D and I.” Brooke raised an eyebrow. “I’d be pretty bad at it.” Brooke dried his face with a towel. 

“It was just a kiss.” Brooke shrugged.

Vanjie didn’t want to believe Brooke was lying, but he knew that and his boyfriend had vastly different understandings of privacy, intimacy and where the lines between friends and lovers went.

“You guys used to fuck?” 

It burned to ask. But Vanjie had to know. 

He had met plenty of Brooke’s friends at Play, Brooke happily introducing him to most of the bartenders, only for Vanjie to find out later that he had fucked most of them over the years, Brooke calling all of them friends like it meant nothing. 

Vanjie had expected Brooke to look annoyed, or even worse, to tell him that he had actually been fuckbuddies with Detox for years, but instead. 

Instead Brooke started laughing. 

“I’m serious asshole?!” Vanjie almost stood up, the desire to kick Brooke burning in his body.

“Me and D?” Brooke hiccuped, tears in the corner of his eyes. “Oh my god-“ Brooke held his chest, his laughter finally calming down as he quickly wiped away a tear.

“Shit Papi-” Brooke snorted, looking into the mirror.

“Bitch I ain’t playing?” Vanjie hissed, desperately trying to keep his voice down. “You walking around kissing her like it cool-“

Even Vanjie knew that it would be a bad look for them to get in a public fight two days in a row, but he refused to let this lie, Brooke an absolute fucking douchebag.

“Wha-” Brooke froze at Vanjie’s words, turning his head to look at him, his eyes filled with worry.

“Like it’s cool?” Brooke turned his chair around. “Is it not cool?”

“What you think?”

“Jose-” Brooke reached out, gently putting a hand on Vanjie’s knee, but Vanjie just wanted to shake him off. “I’ve been kissing Detox for years-“

Vanjie pulled away, Brooke almost falling forward. “Don’t touch my fucking knee when you talking bout your exes-“

“You’re the only boyfriend I have ever had?” Brooke face was completely serious, the conviction behind his words total, and Vanjie felt himself calm down a little, getting reminded that he was Brooke’s first attempt at monogamy always a pleasure to hear. 

His anger lessened, but it was still burning, and he refused to let go. 

“You know what I mean.” Vanjie crossed his arms, even though he wanted to kick Brooke.

“Jose-“ Brooke grabbed his knee again, squeezing hard. “D isn’t an ex.”

“Why you kissing him then?” 

“D is even less of an ex than Nina, and you’re fine with me kissing her?” 

“Nina don’t want nothing to do with your ass.” 

Vanjie knew that he was probably lying, Nina sometimes acting seriously strange around Brooke, but even though Vanjie saw himself as a hunter of truth, there were some beehives even he didn’t want to open.

“And you think D does?” Brooke smiled, “You’re the only one who’s crazy enough to want me.”

Brooke was laying it on thick, but it was absolutely working, his boyfriends charm winning him over almost effortlessly. 

“Don’t play it.” Vanjie huffed. “You a fucking catch.”

Brooke looked almost sad for a minute, Vanjie stepping right into one of Brooke’s weird insecurities that he didn’t really understand, since he couldn’t imagine anyone not wanting to fight with everything they had to get to stay at Brooke’s side.

“Detox is my friend.” Brooke ran a hand up Vanjie’s leg, settling on his thigh as he looked him in the eyes. “He’s my very good friend that I love a lot.”

“That you kissing.” Vanjie spread his legs slightly, allowing Brooke to hold him. 

“It comes just naturally…” Brooke shrugged. “Don’t you ever feel-“

“No.” Vanjie cut him off, crossing his arms.

“You didn’t let me finish.” Brooke raised a brow, and Vanjie took a deep breath through his nose, once again fighting down the urge to kick Brooke.

“I ain’t ever felt shit never.”

Brooke snorted. “So you’re really telling me you’ve never felt like kissing-“ Brooke thought for a moment. “Silky?”

“Wha-“ Vanjie imagined it for a moment, a flash of how Silky often slobbered all over men at the club flashing through his mind. “Ew!”

Brooke laughed.

“No, no. That’s my sister.” Vanjie sat up straight in his chair, “sides, it’d be like smacking a Rhino.”

Brooke bit his lip, and Vanjie could see that he was stressed out, could practically feel the anxiety that was building in Brooke’s face on his own body. 

Brooke pulled away, ready to run, but Vanjie caught him. “You promise you guys ain’t ever fucked?” Vanjie held Brooke’s foot between his own, forcing him to stay.

“D is my friend.”

“That means fuck all in your lil old weird ass world.” Vanjie looked Brooke in the eyes.

“I’ve never had sex with Detox.” 

Vanjie could see that Brooke was telling the truth, relief washing over him at the fact that that was still something only they had together 

“Had’a make sure. You got a strange way to show you friends with people.”

Vanjie smiled, and Brooke did too, the two of them sitting together for a little while, before Brooke opened his mouth once again.

“Do you want me to-“ Vanjie could see that the words physically pained Brooke, could practically see his boyfriend swallowing, but the words that followed still surprised him.

“Do you want me to stop?”

Vanjie felt his anger deflate completely, his heart melting at Brooke’s offer. He would never ever ever have even considered something similar when they had first gotten together in 2018, but that was over a year ago, and this was them now.

Vanjie almost wanted to cry, the fight about the apartment still in his body from the day before, but this, this was a sign that they were actually moving forward. That they were, in fact, progressing as a couple, even though it happened at their own excruciatingly slow pace.

“Nah-” Vanjie put his hand on top of Brooke’s, both of them now touching his inner thigh. “We good.”

Brooke leaned forward, the two men exchanging a gentle peck, and while Vanjie knew that he could never change Brooke completely, they were learning to compromise, which was a gift in itself.

“So-” Brooke pulled away from the kiss, a smile on his face, Vanjie feeling a little dazed himself. “Would now be a good time to tell you that I’m smoking again?”

Vanjie paused for a minute, Brooke’s words slowly penetrating his skull, and then. He exploded.

“What?!”


	9. Chapter 9

“Are you and Brooke okay?”

Vanjie saw Nina walking up to her, bottle of water in hand, their stop for the day still disgustingly hot. 

Everyone else was in the bar, stocking up for the meet and greet to come, Vanjie going with a simply ice cold red bull, since she didn’t want to be drunk. Her and Moniques hosting gig more than enough for her.

“Yes Mama?” Vanjie flipped her wig hair over her shoulder. “What you mean?”

“I just saw you guys bickering.”

“We good…” Vanjie bit her lip, though she was grateful for Nina’s concern, the fact that she chose the word bicker and not fight saying so much about the Columbus queen. “Sorry y’all had to listen.”

“If you don’t think I knew you and Brooke would be acting a fool when I said yes to this.” Nina smiled. “You’re very mistaken.” 

“I can’t help that shit, I’m Purto Rican, I live in my feels.” Vanjie grabbed her fan from the table, but she felt Nina touch her hand, putting her own on top of it before she had a chance to pull back.

“Are you sure you’re okay with Brooke kissing people?” Nina looked directly into Vanjie’s eyes. “I know you know I’ve tried to avoid it-”

Vanjie nodded, how considerate Nina had been all through the year, on the cruise and especially on the season 11 tour suddenly so much clearer to her when she had seen with her own eyes how Detox acted around Brooke, the two of them close in an entirely different way than Brooke and Nina was.

“Because I know how much it can hurt when-” Nina took a breath through her nose. “Brooke isn’t always very considerate of other people's feelings, and I don’t think I’d be able to-”

As Vanjie looked at Nina, really looked, she realised how wrong she had been in her assessment that Nina had no feelings left for Brooke.

Nina’s blue eyes were filled with a strange sadness, an open honesty and Vanjie got the feeling that she was looking at a raw piece of Nina’s soul that she rarely ever shoved to anybody. 

“Nina-” Vanjie turned her hand, her and Nina’s palms touching before she squeezed it. “Brooke loves you, you know that right?”

It wasn’t news to Vanjie that Brooke had left broken hearts behind him his entire life without noticing, had seen a bit of the aftermath of it in Nashville, but she had never truly considered that Nina could still feel insecure since she was always so open to joke about how her and Brooke had almost been a thing. 

“He talks about you all the time and-”

“I don’t need to hear that.” Nina smiled, the sadness still in her eyes. 

“You one of his very best friends.” Vanjie held Nina’s hand tight. “It ain’t no joke to say that I don’t get how the fuck Brock operates 99% of the time-”

Nina snorted, “Do any of us?”

“But he loves you, and if you cool-” Vanjie squeezed Nina’s hand, showing her that she believed her words, that she was telling her truth. “He can smoosh you whenever the fuck he wants.” 

Nina’s eyes widened slightly, Vanjie’s reply clearly not what she had expected.

“I didn’t think I’d get a boyfriend who needed a kiss card-” Vanjie snorted, the idea of the whole free smash pass thing a lot of straight couples did absolutely disgusting to her, but this was somehow different, “but if it’s badass bitches like you and D that’s on it…” Vanjie smiled, the words feeling so very strange. “I’ma be okay.”

“I don’t know how she got you-” Nina chuckled, her thumb gently caressing Vanjie’s. “But Brooke doesn’t deserve you.”

“Bitch-” Vanjie laughed, Nina’s words filling her with pride. “We both know that’s the motherfucking truth.”

///

“I know you said we don’t have to bring you presents-” Brooke looked down at the teeny tiny chubby brunette who had come to see her before the show. “But I got you this-”

The woman reached into her bag, and took a paper pouch out that Brooke immediately recognised as a LUSH bag.

“Oh thank you so much sweetheart-” Brooke took the bag “but I don’t think I can use this. We’re barely staying at hotels on this tour and-”

“It’s not a bathbomb.”

“It’s not?” Brooke had never actually been to a LUSH store, and she didn’t even own a bathtub at her place in Nashville, but somehow all of her lesbians had started giving her bath bombs wherever she went. On the first night of DragCon LA Brooke had done a live in the bathtub not to fall asleep, but on the second, she had had Vanjie with her, the fans all freaking out, so she guessed she understood the gifts, and it was hard not to be seduced by the luxury. 

“Let me just-” Brooke opened the bag, where she found a little black pot. “Oh?”

“It’s a lip scrub.” Brooke could see how shy the girl was, so she reached forward, gently touching her arm, which made her entire face flush red. “I- umh- I figured you’d be taking your lipstick on and off a lot, so-”

“That’s so thoughtful of you.” Brooke squeezed her arm gently, and she was pretty sure she heard a high pitched whine from the girl, that she elected to ignore. Brooke pulled back, opening it up, when a sweet scent hit her. 

“Wait-” Brooke held it to her face. “Does this smell like cookie dough?!” Brooke smiled brightly, Morgan actually looking over at her outburst.

“It does!” The woman smiled, Brooke’s enthusiasm clearly taking her by surprise.

“I have to show this to Jose.” Brooke laughed, “Can you wait? Just give me like-” Brooke held her fingers off. “Two seconds- He’s gonna love this.”

Chocolate chip cookies was one of the few treats that Vanjie would happily have multiples off, Annabell promising Brooke that she’d teach her how to make her special recipe, the next time she was in Florida, and Brooke couldn’t wait to show the scrub to Vanjie. 

///

“Are y’all seriously telling me we ain’t going out tonight?” Meatball threw his towel down on the floor, a groan coming from his lips which made Vanjie snicker. 

There was only one shower at the venue, all of them taking turns, Vanjie’s hair still drying as he was using the lip scrub Brooke had shown him earlier.

“And what am I to you?” Monique huffed. “Hot air?”

“We can’t leave just the two of us!” Meatball whined, looking around the room. 

“I’ll go.” Morgan raised his hand. “I got the good jeans on.” Morgan wiggled his brows, making Vanjie laugh.

“I’m out.” Detox barely hid a yawn behind his hand, toothbrush in his mouth. “I had Netflix connected to download, and I’m spending tonight catching up on all of my shows.”

“And I have work stuff.” Nina looked apologetic. “Charities don’t run themselves.”

“Charities don’t run themselves.” Meatball mimicked. “Way to make us all look bad-”

Nina was just about to defend himself, when the door to the backstage opened, everyone's attention turning to Brooke, who had just walked in.

“What about you Brooke Lynn?”

Brooke was wearing his new blue tracksuit bottoms that were slung low on his hips, and they looked a whole lot better than what Vanjie had imagined, though everything looked pretty damned good on his man when they were accompanied by his pecs and his naked stomach.

“What about Brooke Lynn what?”

“We going out tonight or what?” 

Brooke paused for a minute, clearly thinking. “I just showered.”

“So you fresh for a night out.” Vanjie smiled. 

He could see that Brooke wasn’t sure, but Meatballs enthusiasm had turned Vanjie around, a night of dancing and having fun with his sisters sounding more and more appealing as he thought about it. “We could both go?”

“Yes! Both of you should get those asses in gear. Vanjie! Convince your mans!”

“We’re not the same person.” Brooke rolled his eyes, and Vanjie knew how much Brooke hated it when people expected them to want the same things just because they were dating. 

“We not,” Vanjie reached out, grabbing Brooke’s knee from where he was sitting, the sweats soft to the touch, “but it’s more fun if your ass is around.” Vanjie looked up at Brooke, putting his most charming smile. “Please?”

Monique groaned, and Vanjie snickered, the fact that they were disgustingly adorable something he loved about them.

Brooke was biting his lip. “Fine.” Brooke leaned down, giving Vanjie a peck. “But I’m not changing my outfit.”

“You don’t needa do that stud.” Vanjie smirked. “You fine as fuck.”

Meatball made a gagging sound, everybody laughing loudly.

///

“What you mean we can’t get in?” 

Brooke hadn’t even seen Vanjie as he came flying, his teeny tiny boyfriend standing in front of a security guard that was essentially twice his size, Vanjie looking like he was ready to fight.

“You can, but he can’t-” The bouncer pointed at Brooke. 

“Unzip your jacket B.” Morgan touched his arm, and Brooke did as he was told. “Look, he has a black t-shirt on underneath, isn’t it enough?”

“In those pants?” 

Brooke had never felt more embarrassed in his life. It was his fault that he had gone out in a tracksuit, that he had forgotten it wasn’t clubbing attire anywhere but America, but the bouncer was being an absolute asshole about it.

“Bitch-” Vanjie clenched his fists. “Listen the fuck up-”

The bouncer didn’t give an inch, and though Brooke felt flattered that Vanjie had come to his defense so fast, the situation was heating up, and heating up fast.

“Jose it doesn’t matter-” Brooke reached out, trying to catch Vanjie’s middle, but it was too late. 

“He looks better than half the hoes you got in there!” 

Vanjie lit up like a flame, anger taking him in seconds, and once he was gone, there was no other option but to ride out the storm. Vanjie was practically in the bouncers face, and Brooke had never felt more Canandian in his life.

“What kind of club is this?!” Monique chimed in. 

“Don’t you want customers?” Meatball added, “because we’re not going in without our friend.”

“I said no.”

“Fuck this shit-”

Brooke reached for Vanjie, but Monique was faster, the other queen grabbing Vanjie around the middle and hauling him off, whispering something in his ear, and Brooke had no idea what to do.

“Screw this-” Morgan groaned. “I’m out.”

“Just so you know-” Meatball looked at the bouncer. “You just made a big mistake.”

Brooke hated it when people tried to use their fame to get things, and the night was absolutely turning from bad, to worse, to terrible.

“If you think I care mate?” The bouncer met Meatballs gaze straight on. “You’ve come to the wrong country.”

Brooke could see Meatball drop his jaw, and he grabbed his friends elbow. “Let’s get out of here.” 

“Fuck that dude, fuck this-” Meatball groaned, but he followed as Brooke pulled him to the side, Meatballs hand already in his pocket to get his phone, the other queen probably going to look for another bar they could go to.

Brooke grabbed a cigarette from his pocket, lighting up and handing one to Meatball as well. Brooke looked around, only just spotting Vanjie that was standing to the side, talking to his phone. 

“Listen, we just wanna come, listen to good music-” Vanjie huffed, his eyes flying over the screen, and Brooke could see that he was reading. “My man looked cute! This is some fucking bullshi-”

Brooke saw the minute Vanjie noticed him, his phone completely forgotten as Brooke came over.

“Hey-” Brooke kissed Vanjie’s cheek, putting an arm around him. He finally got a look at Vanjie’s phone, the other man on live to nearly 10.000 followers, Vanjie apparently already going for a while and Brooke was worried what he had said, one of their more meticulous fans probably already archiving the live as they spoke. 

Brooke was holding his smoke outside of the screen, but he could feel how Vanjie was practically vibrating under his palm, his boyfriend still burning with anger. 

“What’s going on?”

Vanjie huffed, his lip between his teeth. “This shit ain’t fucking right- We gay people,”

Brooke cringed hardcore on the inside, and he knew that he had to calm the fire somehow. 

“And we can’t even get into our own clubs?”

“I pretty sure this was my fault.” Brooke pulled Vanjie tighter against his side, the comments quickly shifting to the fans talking about how cute they looked together. 

“Ain’t ever your fucking fault that a bitch ass doorman-”

“Look at you defending my honor.

Vanjie stopped completely, his brain clearly flatlining. “What?” Vanjie looked up at Brooke, his anger forgotten. 

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” Brooke smirked, taking Vanjie’s phone with the hand he was still holding his cigarette in, and shutting off the stream, his boyfriends full attention on him.

“I’m a grown man Jose.”

“I know that, but that don’t mean-” Vanjie was still fuming, but it seemed like Brooke was calming him down.

“You’re acting very prince on a white horse-”

“Ain’t that a good thing?” Vanjie huffed.

“- very old fashioned-” 

Vanjie blushed, his cheeks heating up, and he looked down, embarrassed and flattered all in one. “Shut up.”

“and very, very unnecessary. You’re my boyfriend.” Brooke pulled him close. “Not my mom, not my manager, not my keeper. I don’t need you to defend me.”

“Did I fuck up?”

“A little bit.” Brooke chuckled, his own embarrassment dying down. “We’re both adults.”

“Fuck…” Vanjie put his arms around Brooke, resting his head on his chest. “Do I owe you a sorry?”

“No.” Brooke ran a hand over Vanjie’s back. “Just don’t- Don’t do stuff like that again. I don’t need it, and I don’t want it.”

Just then, Meatball yelled from under the streetlamp he was standing at, the other man finally locating another gay club they could go to, but Brooke and Vanjie took one look at each other, both of them knowing that they didn’t want to come along.


	10. Chapter 10

Vanjie had gone to sleep wrapped around Brooke, his boyfriend gently petting his back.

Vanjie had felt terrible about the fact that Brooke had been turned away at the club when he was the one who had talked him into going out, when Vanjie had known that Brooke would have been just as happy staying in and watching TV with Detox.

The night had ended up just fine though, Meatball easily finding another club that could go to that would let them in, the doorman recognising them right away, Brooke’s clothes not even mentioned once.

They had fallen into bed giggly and happy, Brooke insisting on a trip to McDonalds before he’d come home, but he had still been tipsy as they unlocked the door to their room.

Vanjie had tried to get into Brooke’s pants, but he was pushed away at every turn, his boyfriend refusing to have his nails anywhere near his dick, but Vanjie had been insistent enough that Brooke had ended up wrapping his own hand around his cock and jerking himself off while Vanjie watched. 

It had been hot as hell, though Brooke’s joking sexy talk left a lot to be desired, but how could Vanjie not enjoy watching his man get off, Brooke’s hands a seventh wonder of the world.

Vanjie rolled over in the bed, his eyes still closed as his hand reached out, searching for Brooke. He expected his hand to find him right away, Brooke often rolling around or kicking the blankets off during the night, but his search came up empty, and as Vanjie opened his eyes, he realised that he was all alone.

Vanjie sat up, rubbing his eyes, concentrating for a minute to see if he could hear the shower running or the TV playing, but the hotel room was completely silent except for his own breath.

Vanjie reached for his phone, ready to call Brooke and very patiently ignore his everflowing email - Jason for some reason emailing him several times every single day that Vanjie hadn’t opened yet - when he saw that he had received a text.

It was from Monique, sent over an hour ago. In it Vanjie saw a picture of him and Brooke at what looked like a little roadside cafe, Brooke sitting with a yoghurt in front of him, and Vanjie felt a flush of anger rush through his body.

This was the third fucking time he had been left behind on the tour, and Vanjie wanted to throw his phone through the room. Monique was Vanjie’s friend first, and now they were hanging out without him like that was something that was okay. 

It had hurt each time Brooke had gone out without him, his boyfriend's excuse that he couldn’t wake him up stinging no matter what, but this felt like even more of an insult than when Brooke went with Nina or even Detox, and Vanjie burrowed his head in his pillow, screaming into it. 

///

“So you’ve reached that point of the tour?”

Brooke smiled to himself, Steve putting extra pressure on that, and he knew exactly what his best friend was referring to. It had taken forever to shake Monique off, Brooke wanting a morning just for himself, but he had bumped into the other queen and he hadn’t been able to come up with an excuse as to why Monique couldn’t join him for breakfast. 

It was their day off, though it didn’t really count, the majority of their time filled out by the task of getting to Oslo, everyone leaving just after lunch to go to the airport.

“Mmmh…” Brooke took a sip of his takeaway coffee. He was sitting on a bench, watching people go by as he spoke with Steve. “It’s always so much harder than I remember.” 

Life on the road was never easy, and while he had done his fair share as a ballet dancer for Trockadero, no one had been interested in him as a person. Brooke had gotten a taste of the grueling performance life on the season 11 tour, meeting fans who wanted to see him specifically every night, exhausting in an entirely new way.

“You do sound worse than normal.”

Brooke could hear Jon snore in the background, and he would feel bad about the fact that it was in the middle of the night for Steve, but he had needed his friend, had needed to hear his voice.

“I’m just…” Brooke bit his lip, pulling one leg up. He usually felt like he could share everything with Steve, the other man somehow he had no barriers with, and yet, it was hard to say what he wanted to, rough to share the storm that was brewing in his body. “I’m never alone.”

Brooke groaned, actually saying the words feeling wonderful.

“Normally I have my own room, but this time-” Brooke waited for a second, scared that the earth would open beneath him, that he’d be struck by lightning.

“You’re sharing with Jose?”

“Mmmh.” Brooke nodded. It was a horrible thing to say, a horrible thing to even think, but as he had woken up that morning, Vanjie wrapped around his body, there had only been one thought in his head.

Get out.

“I know it’s not-” Brooke had seen how people acted, how people were supposed to act around their partners, and how he was behaving right now wasn’t it. “I’m a terrible boyfriend.”

He hadn’t actually told Vanjie where he was, but Monique had sent a picture, and since his phone hadn’t blown up, he either expected Vanjie to still be asleep, or to be cool with the fact that he had gone out without him. 

“That’s possible-”

Brooke choked, Steve’s casual agreement hurting like a slap to the face,

“- or you’re an anxious introvert doing something new.” 

“I don’t think introvert is going to fly as an excuse.” Brooke could hear the smile in Steve’s voice and their words were true, but he could still his own heart racing. Brooke would always describe himself as an introverted extrovert, since he couldn’t imagine himself ever living without life on stage, but Brock and Brooke Lynn were two very different people, who needed very very different things. “Or the anxiety…”

“If you just tell him I’m sure Jose will understand.”

“Mmh.” Brooke nodded, not that he was actually convinced by Steve’s words. He was just about to reply, when he felt his phone vibrate. “Hold on-”

Brooke took it away from his face, looking at his screen, a text from Vanjie just ticking in. Brooke clicked on it, hoping that it wasn’t an angry message filled with questions about where he was, but instead of anger or even worry, all he had received was a picture of Vanjie in their hotel bathroom, his arms filled with the LUSH products Brooke had been given by fans.

Just then, another message ticked in.

_ We ready for you Mami _

Brooke smiled, his heart soaring with love for the man who apparently understood him better than he gave him credit for.

“Steve?” 

“Yes love.”

“Let me call you back.”

///

Vanjie was pacing outside of the bathroom door, annoyance humming under his skin. He had sent a sexy pic off to Brooke, posing with some bath bombs without his shirt on. 

Vanjie had expected Brooke to get the hint, had wanted his man to come home and take revenge on the orgasm Vanjie hadn’t gotten the night before and enjoy some time in the tub.

Instead, Brooke had given him a gigantic kiss, relief and happiness for some reason swirling in it, murmured a thank you and then he had closed the bathroom door, hopping in the tub alone like that was a thing that was okay to do.

He hated closed doors, and he could feel it taunting him, the sounds of Brooke splashing around in the water just on the other side.

Vanjie wanted to go in, but he had already been in to pick up his toothbrush, then his cologne and finally his tweezers, and while Vanjie had hoped each time was the one where Brooke would ask him to join him, his boyfriend had just seemed more and more annoyed, Brooke not even looking at Vanjie on his last trip.

He was pretty sure that Brooke would drown him if he dared to interrupt him again, his man buried in bubbles and watching Schiit’s creek on his phone, but Vanjie wanted to be in there, not out here all alone.

///

Brooke was floating on a cloud of lavender scented perfection. The water was just the right temperature, the tub actually long enough for him to soak in it.

He had no idea where Vanjie had gotten the idea from, but his boyfriend had made the exact right call. 

Brooke still couldn’t believe how nice it was of him to do this, even if it was a little bit annoying that Vanjie kept coming into the room to check on him, probably wanting to make sure that he was as relaxed as possible.

Brooke took a deep breath, sinking even deeper into the water, the only thing sticking out his phone as he watched Alexis get in terrible trouble, the bathroom, his own little private slice of paradise.

///

“Break up with him.”

“Bitch-” Vanjie groaned deeply. “I ain’t even told you the situation.” 

“You said Brock and ass in the same sentence, I stand by my advice.”

“I don’t need you to tell me to break up, I need you to tell if I’m crazy,” Vanjie had called Silky from the bed, Brooke still in the bathroom 30 minutes later, his man apparently not planning on coming out until they absolutely had to leave. “You think I’m crazy?”

“1000%”

“Silk!” Vanjie slapped a hand over his mouth, not wanting Brooke to know that he was calling Silky to talk about their relationship, his boyfriend always looking like someone had kicked either Apollo or Henry whenever he found out they had discussed him. “You supposed to be ride or die.”

“Sorry, sorry,”

“It just, it feels like he don’t even wanna hang with me or nothing.” Vanjie curled on his side, hugging one of the pillows to his chest. He hadn’t made a fourth trip to the bathroom, his usual ever imaginative brain unable to come up with an excuse good enough that he dared. 

“That don’t sound good.”

“He looked like he was gonna drown me in the bathtub-” Vanjie sighed, saying the words reminding him of how cold Brooke had been, “You know me, I appreciate a smacka to the backa here and there-”

“Gross.”

“-but this ain’t no serial killer flick. He ain’t got no reason to be mad at me! All I wanna do is normal boyfriend stuff, hold his hand and suck his dick you know.” Vanjie could feel that he was spiraling, knew he was acting out, but all he wanted to do was kick down the door, yell at Brooke and force his man to pay attention to him. “Don’t wanna be forgotten…”

“I though you stabbed his dick-”

“Silks!” Vanjie groaned. He regretted telling Silky that he had stabbed Brooke in the balls the moment he had told it, but the story had been too good not to share. 

///

“What seat did you get?” Brooke leaned over Vanjie’s shoulder, sneaking a peak at the flight ticket in his boyfriend's hand. They were all at the airport, Brooke once again in his new Adidas set, the pants some of the most comfortable he had ever gotten.

Brooke felt amazing, not even an airport able to ruin his good mood. He had sat by himself on the bus to the airport, headphones in, just watching the roads pass by, Vanjie once again really showing how much he had matured and how well their relationship was going as he hadn’t even said a word of complaint to Brooke, his boyfriend just finding a seat for himself next to Morgan.

“32D-” Vanjie twisted his head, looking up at Brooke. 

“Damn, I have 30B.” Brooke sighed, putting an arm over Vanjie’s shoulder, pulling his back against his chest as Nina rolled by with his suitcase. Vanjie reached up, grabbing his arm, his finger digging into the material of his jacket, almost like he was holding onto Brooke. “I’ll see if someone wants to switch.”

“You serious?” Vanjie huffed, disbelief that Brooke couldn’t understand in his eyes. “You wanna sit next to me?"

“Don’t pretend you didn’t wear that shirt-” Brooke looked down, Vanjie in one of his barely there tank top, delicious tan skin on display. “Just so I’d feel you up.”

Vanjie blushed, a blinding smile spreading on his face, and Brooke couldn’t help but press a kiss to Vanjie’s hair, his boyfriend like a little sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to PoppedtheP for midwifing, and sorry everyone that the update has taken this long. I'm a little bish when it comes to conflicts.


	11. Chapter 11

“Brock!” Vanjie yelled into the hotel room. “Brunch ‘s here!”

Vanjie had woken up in a hotel room with Brooke just after 12. They had done Oslo and then Amsterdam, the canals of the city visible just outside of their window.

“Coming!” 

Vanjie heard the shower turn off, Brooke rolling out of bed when Vanjie had picked up the phone to order them room service. They had checked into their room after the show, dragging all of their suitcases with them once again, Brooke because he was flying to Sweden for the last leg of the tour, Vanjie because he was flying home to L.A to film with VH1.

They had fallen asleep almost immediately, both of them going out like lights as soon as they hit the bed, Brooke still wearing his socks since he had been too tired to take them off. 

Vanjie had sort of hoped for sex, Oslo not dishing anything out except two rushed handjobs, but he had been so tired himself that he hadn’t been mad about the missed opportunity. 

Just sleeping with Brooke beside him in a comfortable bed had felt like enough, when Vanjie knew exactly what type of day they had in front of them.

He put down the tray on the little coffee table. He was wearing one of the hotel bathrobes, the fluffy fleece of it feeling amazing against his body. Vanjie picked the remote up, quickly turning the TV on and flipping through the channels. 

“Uh!” Vanjie yelled, excitement rushing over him. “Mami! They got E! Network!” 

“I’m not watching the Kardashians!”

“Yes you are!” Vanjie sat down on the couch, a smile on his face. He picked up his smoothie, taking a sip of his liquid breakfast as he watched a commercial.

Vanjie couldn’t wait to spend the entire day with Brooke, the breakfast spread on the table just the first step in their perfect schedule that Vanjie had planned down to the minute. Sure, the first half of the day was blocked out for sex, but he had been online, and had found a bunch of activities for them to do: stroopwafels, couples pictures by the canal and maybe even a bike ride if Vanjie could find one that didn’t look too intimidating.

Uninterrupted time with Brooke was a rare commodity, and he couldn’t wait to play tourist with his boyfriend.

Vanjie knew that the extra day in Amsterdam would be costly. He had talked Jason into giving him an extra day in Europe, and while it would be worth it, Vanjie was already cringing a little at the knowledge that he had to go directly from the airport to the studio. 

Getting in drag after a long day was never fun, and getting in drag for TV after a transatlantic flight sounded like torture, but Vanjie was sure it would all be worth it, and a romantic breakfast was the first item on the agenda.

“If you ain’t gonna hurry I’mma eat your toast.”

“Don’t touch my food!”

Vanjie snickered as Brooke showed up in the door. 

“Bitch I didn’t order no Canadian bacon!” Brooke was naked, his skin still damp with water. He wa wearing a towel around his neck, his phone in hand. “But I ain’t saying no to a piece.” 

Vanjie purred, getting up on his knees, making sure the bathrobe fell open to show Brooke that he wasn’t wearing underwear. Vanjie had expected Brooke to immediately jump him, for his man to notice him right away, but Brooke was just standing there, his eyes glued to his phone.

“Hot stuff?” Vanjie spread his legs a little more. “B?” Vanjie raised his volume, the idea that Brooke couldn’t hear him downright stupid, but if he could hear him, that meant he was being ignored, and Vanjie refused to even entertain that trail of thought. “Brock!”

“What?” Brooke looked up, clearly taken by surprise at the volume of Vanjie’s voice.

“Hoe I’m talking to you!” Vanjie huffed, crossing his arms.

“Oh-” Brooke smiled, and Vanjie was almost ready to forgive him, but then he continued talking.

“Sorry, just-” Brooke looked down at his phone again, holding up a finger. “Half a minute, and I’m there.”

“Oh fuck no.” Vanjie got up, abandoning the breakfast as he stalked over to Brooke. “Who you talking to?” If Vanjie hadn’t known it would have gotten him in a world of trouble, he would have snatched the phone right out of Brooke’s hand.

“Bianca is in town,” Brooke bit his lip, texting away. “For Pride I mean.”

Vanjie had checked his phone right before he went to get breakfast, and he was sure he hadn’t gotten a text. 

“Let me see-”

Brooke titled his phone, and Vanjie quickly read the message, Bianca asking Brooke if he wanted to come hang out with him at Pride. 

Vanjie felt a brief stab of jealousy. Bianca was his friend, he had known him the longest, and Vanjie was the one who introduced the two of them to each other.

He had seen it from the moment the two had met though, Bianca and Brooke clicking on some weird overachiever energy level, and the fact that they both were in the winners club hadn’t made it any better.

It almost felt like he was in high school, two of his friends going behind his back to hang out together, except that this felt a whole lot worse since Brooke was his boyfriend, which meant that he should never ever ever want to leave Vanjie behind, ever.

“Cool.” Vanjie shoved his hands in the pockets of his robes, a slight burn starting up in his chest, the smallest of fires turning on.

“Right?” Brooke smiled brightly, excitement radiating from him. “I just checked, and the Uber can be here in 25 minutes.”

“Uber? You saying Uber? You going to Pride?”

“I assumed we would? It’s Pride? Let the freak flag fly?” Brooke smirked, wiggling his brow.

“We ain’t even had breakfast-” 

Vanjie could already feel his excitement sour, his stomach twisting into the tightest knot. He could see in Brooke’s face how much he wanted to go, how badly Brooke wanted to go out and have fun, but Vanjie didn’t want that, not today. 

He didn’t want a bunch of strangers. He wanted Brooke.

“-and we got dinner reservations.”

“Dinner isn’t until 7?” Brooke raised a brow, confusion sneaking into his blue eyes “That’s over 5 hours from now.”

Vanjie swallowed down his disappointment. He wanted to yell, wanted to scream at Brooke that he wasn’t being fair, but he kept it in. “I’m tired.”

“If you want to stay in-” Brooke touched Vanjie’s arm, and for a second, just a second, Vanjie felt relief, felt the promise that Brooke had seen what he needed, and that he was ready to give it to him, but then, he continued. “-you should.”

Brooke kissed his forehead. 

“Don’t think about me, I’ll just go on my own.”

Vanjie wanted to scream, his stomach the tightest knot in the world. “Cool.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?"

“Mmmh.” Vanjie bit his lip. He didn’t want to make a scene, didn’t want to ruin his last day with Brooke in weeks by being a bitchy boyfriend. “If you wanna go, you should go.”

“Thanks Papi.” Brooke kissed him. “You’re the best.”

Vanjie watched Brooke walk away, his boyfriend chatting loudly about what outfit he should wear, and Vanjie hated him for the fact that he didn’t offer to stay.

///

Brooke could feel sweat run down his back, but he didn’t care at all, happiness coursing his body. He had been dancing away on the streets of Amsterdam, the pride parade one of the best he had ever attended. 

He wasn’t there as a drag queen, was only there as Brock, and everyone was so incredibly friendly, most of the people there having no idea who he was at all.

“Oh shit-” Bianca snorted, a line of coke disappearing up his nose right behind Brooke on the float. “That’s it.”

Bianca rubbed his nose, and Brooke couldn’t help but laugh.

“Want some?” Bianca held out his sniffer, a teasing smile on his lips.

“No thanks.” Brooke grinned, taking a sip of his water. He had had a beer or two and a few shots here and there, but he was still sober enough for whatever Vanjie had planned for them, “I have dinner at 7.”

“At 7?” Bianca huffed, “Well good luck with that lover boy.”

“Don’t be a dick.”

“Hey,” Bianca looked up at Brooke, “all I’m saying is-” Bianca held out his wrist, tapping on his watch, “that it’s 7.30.”

“Come on Bianca,” Brooke felt a sense of unease settle over him. “That’s not funny-” Brooke took his phone out of his pocket. He had set an alarm, he knew he had set an alarm. He clicked on his home button, but instead of the usual photo of him and Vanjie, all he saw was a black screen.

“FUCK!”

///

_ “Hello?” _

_ “José-” _

_ “Brock?” _

_ “Yes baby, I bought a power bank off of this really drunk guy, I’m on my way and I-“ _

_ “Fuck you.” _

_ “Please, don’t get mad-” _

_ “Fuck you! I don’t even wanna talk to you right now-” _

_ “Don’t hang up! Please” _

_ “You ain’t even said sorry yet! Why you think I wanna talk to you-” _

_ “I’m almost at the hotel-“ _

_ “I don’t give a shit if you at the hotel or you on your way to Mars!” _

_ “Just wait-” _

_ “Oh, so you asking me to wait? Ain’t that cute?! You acting like my time ain’t worth shit!” _

_ “Do you know how many times I’ve waited for you?” _

_ “Don’t you go turning this around on me!” _

_ “My phone died and I forgo-” _

_ “Bitch you better not say you forgot or you can forget about having a boyfriend.” _

_ “I didn’t, I didn’t, I know we can’t make the reservation but we can still have a nice evening.” _

_ “You bailed on me.” _

_ “I didn’t bail-“ _

_ “You bailed.” _

_ “I forgot, I was having fun and I-“ _

_ “Fun without me.” _

_ “You didn’t want to come.” _

_ “Cause I didn’t wanna spend my last day with you with a bunch of sweaty twinks grinding on your ass!” _

_ “That’s dramatic.” _

_ “I saw you on Instagram." _

_ “Baby we don’t have to make this a thing, I’m almost ther-“ _

_ “We had a fucking deal Brock! We had a fucking deal and you bailed! We said four fucking hours-“ _

_ “You’re acting like I did this on purpose.” _

_ “How I know you didn’t?! You been spending time with everybody but me on this tour!” _

_ “What? I?” _

_ “You have! You been leaving me for Detox, Nina, Monique, even fucking Meatball! I shouldn’t be asking to spend time you, but you fucking off with everybody else!” _

_ “How is that - Oh god you’re so fucking smotherin-” _

_ “Don’t you dare say that-” _

_ “I didn’t mean, I wasn’t, no, actually, I did, your expectations are fucking insane sometimes José. We can’t hang out all the time, we’re the-” _

_ “You my boyfriend! I don’t needa be begging for you to look at me!” _

_ “You’re sleeping in my bunk, how is that me not spending time with you” _

_ “I don’t give a shit if I listen to your loud ass moose snores. It ain’t the same shit as spending quality time with me!” _

_ “I’m trying! I am, I- I didn’t know you felt this- I can’t do everything perfect-” _

_ “I ain’t asking you to do fuck all perfect, I’m asking you do fuck all right!” _

_ “Don’t nag me!" _

_ “Bitch! I ain’t nagging!” _

_ “You are when you want all these things from us spending every waking moment together to moving in together and-” _

_ “It ain’t unfair that I wanna live in the same fucking state!" _

_ "And I told you I can't! Not yet!" _

_ "You acting like it’s crazy but you a grown ass man!” _

_ “I’m a late bloomer! I need time- You have to respect that-” _

_ “I ain’t asking for the world! I been patient!" _

_ "You've been pushy-" _

_ "We been together for a year! This shit ain’t high school-" _

_ "That's not fair-" _

_ "You gotta commit!” _

_ “I am, I am-" _

_ "You not-" _

_ "I said I’m not ready! I'm not, you can’t make me be this perfect person who lives in your head! It’s fucked up and I can’t be that” _

_ “And who knows if you ever gonna be.” _

_ “José. Don’t-“ _

_ “Fuck you.” _

_ “Jos-“ _

** _Beep beep beep_ **

///

Brooke knew he had fucked up. He knew he had fucked up really really badly.

He was walking down the hall towards their room, a giant bouquet of flowers in his hand. He had tipped the cab driver all the cash he had in his wallet in exchange for a stop at a flower shop, Brooke’s heart hammering away in his chest as he rode up in the elevator.

Brooke hated how much he felt like he had back on the cruise, except that this was much much worse. Back then, Brooke hadn’t known he had been wrong, but this time, he was absolutely sure without a shadow of a doubt that he was the one who had fucked up. 

He didn’t want to fight with Vanjie, actually, he hated whenever they fought, conflicts making his skin itch and his stomach turn.

Brooke swiped his key, opening the door to their hotel room.

“José?” 

Brooke waited for a minute by the door, but there was no response. He walked inside, the little living room section empty. 

Vanjie had to be in the bedroom, and Brooke walked towards it, bouquet first, hoping that the flowers could at least help a little bit on the major shitstorm he knew he had started by accident.

“Papi,” Brooke took a deep breath, collecting all of his courage to say sorry. “I’m really-“ 

Brooke lowered the bouquet, seeing the bedroom for the first time, and that was when he noticed that it was completely empty, all of Vanjie’s suitcases gone.

“No...”

///

Vanjie closed the door to his Uber behind him, exhaustion thick in his bones. He had spent the entire day filming with Drag Race. The season 12 queens and being on set thankfully took his mind off of the major mess he had left behind in Europe.

Vanjie had called Jason on his way to the airport, telling his manager he was coming home and that he was coming home right now and on the next flight that would take him out of Amsterdam. Vanjie had bought his ticket, swiping his credit card without even looking at the price, texted his mom his flight number, and then he had shut his phone off.

He hadn’t turned it back on, Jason doing all the communication with production. Vanjie hadn’t checked social media, hadn’t even allowed his mom to take a quick peek on Brooke’s when she had come to stay with him last night. 

Vanjie walked up the stairs to his apartment, dragging his suitcase after him. He couldn’t wait for a shower and a cry, his mom probably leaving behind a giant tub of ice cream in the freezer if he knew her at all.

Vanjie made it to his floor, and then he saw the last thing he had expected.

Brooke was sitting outside of his door, surrounded by suitcases.

“What the-” Vanjie stopped dead in his tracks.

“Hey.” Brooke looked just as exhausted as Vanjie felt. He was wearing grey sweatpants, a hoodie and flip flops, his outfit the one he always wore when he was flying.

Vanjie wanted to ask what Brooke was doing here, what the fuck he was thinking, but there was only one thing that came to mind.

“You supposed to be in Sweden.”

“Can I come in?” Brooke bit his lip, the other man tapping his phone against his knee. He was still sitting down, his big blue eyes focused entirely on Vanjie. 

“How come you ain’t in Sweden?”

“Can we go inside?”

Vanjie knew how much Brooke hated public displays of anything, the walkway to his apartment really not private at all, but Vanjie wasn’t sure if he wanted Brooke in his home.

“Depends on why you here?”

“Because I want to?”

“I don’t think-” Vanjie crossed his arms, Brooke never missed a booking, but it was a fact that he was sitting right there, on Vanjie’s doorstep in L.A.

“And because-” Brooke took a deep breath, “because you’re right.”

Vanjie felt his heart skip a beat, his body frozen in place.

“I’ve been an asshole-”

“What’s new?”

Brooke raised an eyebrow, and Vanjie realised that he was the one who was being an asshole. He was still angry with Brooke, he was honestly furious, but it wasn’t fair to have this conversation out in the open.

“Sorry.” Vanjie fished his keys out of his pocket. “Let’s go inside.”

Brooke got up, and Vanjie opened the door, the two of them walking inside like they had done so many times before, though this felt different, so very different.

Riley came running instantly, the old dog yapping excitedly when he saw Brooke.

“Hey boy.” Brooke crouched down, scratching Riley behind his ear.

“Traitor.” Vanjie huffed. Riley wasn’t exactly making anything easier, the dog acting how Vanjie wished he could behave.

“This sucks…” Brooke sighed, looking up at Vanjie, a sad smile on his lips.

“Tell me about it.” Vanjie rolled his eyes.

“No I mean-” Brooke stood up. “Coming like this, doing this, that doorstep thing, I- I’ve always known you were brave,” Brooke looked uncomfortable, like every word as physically painful, “but with Nashville and everything-“

Vanjie felt nauseous. Nashville was their worst fight, had been their worst fight, but he guessed fleeing a whole ass continent did technically top nearly killing each other in a hallway.

“- That took some serious balls.”

“Glad you noticed.” Vanjie walked towards his living room, Brooke behind him. The idea of having this whole conversation without a drink suddenly unbearable.

“It did.”

Brooke was standing in the door, and Vanjie could feel his eyes on him as he poured them both a whiskey, the burning sensation of the liquor the only thing Vanjie could think of that could possibly make him feel better.

“José. I’ve been an asshole,” Vanjie snorted, but Brooke continued speaking, “- and you’re right, I’ve been scared.”

Vanjie felt his jaw drop, his hand stopping in mid air, his fingers tight around the bottle.

“I-” Brooke took a step forward. “Papi, I’m fucking terrified about everything.”

“Shit…” Vanjie put the bottle down, Brooke watching him, his eyes filled with a raw and emotional honesty he had never seen from his boyfriend before.

“I’ve never felt the way I feel about you about anybody else before.”

Vanjie felt tears well up in his eyes, and he bit his tongue, willing himself not to cry.

“And that’s why-”

“You don’t gotta say anything-”

“I want to move to L.A”

“... What?” Vanjie couldn’t believe what he had just heard, Brooke’s words not making any sense.

“I want to move to L.A”

“What?!”

“Are-” Brooke looked confused, and scared, his brows furrowed, “are you not happy about this?”

“You playing.” 

This was a dream. It had to be. If he pinched himself he would wake up. He had to.

“No. No, I’m not,” Brooke took a step forward, reaching out and then pulling back, like he was scared of touching. “I’m terrified, but- I know this amazing guy who says that, if you want it to work, it’ll work, and I-“

Vanjie couldn’t hold his tears back, an embarrassingly loud sob leaving him as tears started flowing freely.

“Oh shit!” Brooke reached out, grabbing his shoulders. “Oh god. Babe? Why are you-” Brooke sounded genuinely confused. “Have I- fuck- have I fucked it up? Are we breaking up-“

Vanjie jumped into Brooke’s arms, throwing his arms around his neck, tackling him to the ground.

“José!” Brooke yelped, surprise tinged with annoyance in his voice and even though his arms reached around him instantly, Vanjie wasn’t having any of it.

“Don’t ruin this one asshole.” Vanjie was still crying as he looked down at Brooke. “We still got a lot of shit to talk through.”

Brooke nodded, his man completely quiet.

“I love you.” Vanjie smiled. “I love you Brock Hayhoe, you crazy motherfucker.” 

Vanjie leaned down, their lips meeting in a kiss, and Vanjie didn’t care that there were a million and one unanswered questions.

What he did care about was that Brooke was there, that Brooke was with him, and that his idiot of a boyfriend had cut an international tour short to come get him when it really counted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for all of the help on this series. It hasn't been easy, but it's done, and I'm really proud of pushing the boundaries on the type of stories I feel comfortable telling!


End file.
